After several months of complete degradation for a crumb of social acceptance, you’ve finally become an official member of your favorite frat. Nice going bro! That’s so ferda! Unfortunately, this probably means you’ve been an dick to everybody else in your life since at least January, but don’t worry! They...
By Turd Ferguson PORT SAID, EGYPT – On March 23rd, the Ever Given ran aground in the Suez Canal, completely blocking one of the world’s most vital trade routes and setting back some supply chains as much as nine months. Critics have placed blame on officials in both the International...
You’ve heard of the Rice Purity Test, but now take an assessment that reflects the real college experience. Welcome to the Slant Purity Test, the only true assessment of how much Vanderbilt has corrupted your morals. You’ll get a score from 0-100, the higher the better. Share your results, create...
Dear Big Pharma, Thank you for changing my birth control for the fifth time these past eleven months! I’m so happy to have you change the mix of hormones you’re pumping into my body every month or two. The physical and emotional effects of you messing around really keep me...
Everyone has their weird shit that they like. Unfortunately for me, a big part of my sexual awakening came from thinking that Jesse from Pitch Perfect was the hottest man on this planet, meaning that my weird kink is a cappella. Could it have just been something kind of normal?...
