“Woke” Ride Sharing App Carries Mantle for Social Justice

    After a mass boycott of Uber due to its less-than-stellar response to Trump’s detaining of immigrants at airports, the app Woke has risen to become the most-downloaded ride-sharing company in the Apple app store, gaining a reputation for social justice activism and providing another alternative to taxis.

    Started following the signing of Trump’s executive order, Woke successfully completes the same tasks as Uber and Lyft, except that Woke donates 10% of each ride to an organization of the consumer’s choice, from the Foundation for Individual Rights in Education (FIRE) to the International Monetary Fund (IMF). “When we saw how Uber had really taken a far right turn, it became clear that the people in our bubble really needed an alternative that fit our times, that really allowed customers to say what they needed to say while getting them where they needed to go” said CEO Jeff Halbrum, wearing a safety pin in the colors of Woke’s logo.

    Woke performs the exact same tasks as Lyft or Uber, albeit with an edgy, Silicon Valley liberal bent that separates the app from the rest of the pack. While regular ride-sharing drivers are required only to maintain their own vehicles and pay for their own gas, Woke drivers are required to pay for a series of liberal magazine subscriptions, ranging from Time to Newsweek. Woke drivers also carry and sell a wide variety of books by liberal authors, such Bill Clinton’s memoir and the complete writings of Lena Dunham.

    “Yeah, it costs a lot to be a Woke driver, but I feel like it’s probably worth it,” said driver James Ryan, “It’s been difficult moneywise replacing all the books and magazines that passengers take, but Woke and my family of five have really inspired me to work myself to the limit. It doesn’t help that Woke garnishes my tip for charity donations, but I’m fine with that; it’s like I’m the one donating to a charity my family uses!”

    “It’s been so inspiring watching all these consumers help us disrupt the ride-sharing establishment; Look out world! Woke is here to lead Silicon Valley into a new paradigm,” said Halbrum, checking stock prices on his computer, “By the way, people of all genders, classes, races, and anything else are invited with a $500 donation to our charity gala celebrating our upcoming IPO; we’re disrupting the charity and tech world like no other company before, after, or since!”

Halbrum continued, “All of this disruption really makes me feel proud of Woke’s mission statement: Is Woke all that different from the other ride sharing apps? No. Will it make you feel like you’re making a difference? Yes.”