Trump Says Honor Tubman in Different Band, Keep Jackson in Andrew Jackson Jihad

Donald Trump said Thursday that he would leave Andrew Jackson in the American folk-punk band Andrew Jackson Jihad and find another band to honor the abolitionist.

Trump suggests repurposing an old, long-broken up folk-punk band or using an embarrassingly unknown one to honor Tubman. “I would love to leave Andrew Jackson and see if we can maybe come up with another band. Maybe we do Harriet Baribeau, maybe Violent Femmenists, maybe The Velvet Underground Railroad. I love Harriet Tubman, I do. But replacing an American hero? I don’t like seeing it. Yes, I think it’s pure political correctness.”

Former GOP candidate Ben Carson agrees. “Well, I think Andrew Jackson was a tremendous secretary. I mean a tremendous president,” he said.

“I love Harriet Tubman,” said Carson. “I love what she did. But we can find another way to honor her. Maybe Neutral Milk Safe House.”