Morgan Freeman Reveals He Only Started Acting to Kiss Girls

Morgan Freeman, renowned actor and Academy Award winner, admitted in an interview yesterday that the only reason he began his acting career was to kiss a girl. According to Freeman, his motivation for auditioning for the sixth grade, play that gave him his acting debut was to kiss Becky Schwartz.

“Becky was the hottest girl in the grade, and everyone knew that she was a shoo-in for Juliet,” Freeman said, explaining his rationale in dulcet tones. “All I had to do was get the part of Romeo, and I was golden!”

Unfortunately, Freeman was instead cast as Tybalt, and eighth grade stud Robert Parker got to kiss the leading lady. Freeman was undeterred; however, and continued to audition for subsequent theatrical productions with his eyes on the prize: to make out with any hot girl.

According to sources, Freeman pursued a career in show business, after college, exclusively to achieve his elusive first kiss via an on-screen smooch. Even Bruce Beresford, the director of the film that gave Freeman an Oscar nomination, Driving Miss Daisy, took note of the actor’s all-consuming objective.

“Morgan kept pestering me to put in a romantic subplot between his character and the seventy-two year-old Miss Daisy character,” Beresford said. “Toward the end of the filming process, he just started abjectly begging even for a peck on the cheek.”

Somewhere amidst his miserable failures and wretched disappointments in life, Freeman became an award-winning thespian along the way and is now particularly known for his voiceover work and his roles as God in multiple movies.

“Even as God I can’t use my all-encompassing powers to will myself a kiss!” Freeman said angrily. “Look, being a critically acclaimed actor with a net worth $90 million is great and all, but can’t a brother get a little love?”