You've heard of the Rice Purity Test, but now take an assessment that reflects the real college experience. Welcome to the Slant Purity Test, the only true assessment of how much Vanderbilt has corrupted your morals. You'll get a score from 0-100, the higher the better. Share your results, create new social hierarchies based on where you place and generally revel in the … [Read more...] about The Slant Purity Test
Archives for March 2021
Former Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos has announced his retirement from the billion-dollar tech company. To the dismay of many Robinhood users, Amazon’s stock did not fluctuate by more than five percent, causing many call options to expire and leaving traders with an empty 401K. Bezos’ retirement comes as a shock to many. With a successful year of stomping out that local elderly … [Read more...] about Jeff Bezos to Step Down in Order to Pursue New Role as Boiled Egg
So imagine this: you’re a silly young Slant writer with tastes more expensive than a college student’s budget allows for and you’re watching iCarly on a borrowed Netflix account (remember, you are poor) with a belly full of $14.20 worth of poke when you realize you’ve got an article due in 64 minutes. I’m sure you’re thinking, “Hey! Those Slant writers’ brains are as juicy and … [Read more...] about I Spent $134.40 at Bowl Based Restaurants This Semester. Here Are My Recommendations.
By Ben Dauber Before long, the mask mandate will end and people will eventually be able to use their noses again. Unfortunately for you, that means that people will be able to quickly rediscover your ungodly body odor. Luckily, I’ve prepared a quick list of some potential cologne/perfume scents to mask both your BO and your terrible personality: Suave SnakeDo you find … [Read more...] about 8 Colognes and Perfumes You Need to Mask Your Terrible Personality
The Tennessee Associated Press has awarded The Hustler its highest honor—the Blind Eye Award, granted to the newspaper that most embodies the spirit of ignoring hard news and championing infotainment. The Hustler’s dedication to not reporting on Doe v. Vanderbilt, a lawsuit over Vanderbilt failing to honor its contractual obligations with students by not offering refunds for … [Read more...] about The Hustler Wins “Blind Eye” Award for Completely Ignoring Doe v. Vanderbilt