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The Slant

Vanderbilt's Satirical Newspaper - Est. 1886

HUMOR AND SATIRE

What’s Next for Pandemic Erotica?

October 28, 2020 by Estelle Shaya: Editor-in-Chief

Following the success of the groundbreaking novel Kissing the Coronavirus, an erotic tale that personified Covid as a sexy beast of a man, authors worldwide are rushing to jump on a new literary wave. Publishing companies now compare viral fiction to the late 2000s-early 2010s boom in young adult dystopian literature. Although one may appear to be an offshoot of the other, the coronavirus literary tradition is strikingly different from former movements by the deep hornyness that pervades its plotlines.

Dr. Connor Vidosa, director of the Contemporary Literary Institute of Tennessee, spoke to how deeply influenced these new works are by modern times, and yet distanced from reality. “It’s an interesting paradox. The honest portrayal of the coronavirus in these novels creates an appearance of verisimilitude, but one that’s quickly undercut by the improbability of anyone having a sex life as represented during the pandemic. These authors create a beautiful combination of realism and fantastical eroticism I’ve never seen before,” Vidosa said. Pandemic erotica refuses to shy away from the unsettling and gruesome, but rather embraces and amplifies it.

The high bar set by already published Covid authors means newcomers now expose themselves to coronavirus to deepen the imagery within their writing. Author Susan Tara-Davis explained her process. “I sat down and asked myself, what does it mean to fall for coronavirus? How does it feel to have Covid thrust himself deep inside me? While I’m slowly being infected by his intoxicating charm, will Covid wrap me in his muscular arms and kiss me as I take my last, dying breaths? These are the Pulitzer-prize winning questions of the day.” From her hospital bed, Tara-Davis went on to describe how she threw massive unprotected orgies until at long last she tested positive. “Now I really know what, no, who coronavirus is, and I’m sure my writing will reflect that. I just need to catch malaria too to round off the love triangle for my novel.”

Other niche genres are drawing themes from Covid fiction to spice up their work. Chief among these is the Amish romance genre, although the explicit sex of other works is played down. Amish Fiction Daily, the top site for all Amish related literature, published this blurb for the soon to be released novel Riding a Buggy into the Sunset…With the Coronavirus. “She’s never left the homestead and never been with any man. He’s travelled around the world, leaving immeasurable heartbreak in his wake. When Anna meets the coronavirus at a crowded farmers market in conservative Pennsylvania, he whisks her into a world of romance, bonnet in tow. Can Anna change Covid’s ways before he infects her community? Or will he be shunned for failing to give up his cosmopolitan, worldly lifestyle?”

Beyond literary circles, pandemic erotica is emerging as a diplomatic force, uniting parties across the aisle. Taking a page from his predecessor, President Trump is starting his own brand of the White House Poetry Jam – White House Coronavirus Smut Parties. The president has praised these novels as deeply reflective of his own experience with Corona. “These books are very, veryyyy good. I don’t read that much, you know, I don’t have time for that. I’m a busy, busy man. But these books are America at its finest. Like when the big, strong coronavirus grabbed that scientist by her pussy. I felt that. What fine, fine writers.”

Push aside Camus’ The Plague, Marquez’s Love in the Time of Cholera, and E.L. James’ Fifty Shades of Grey! Fiction that reflects the pandemic experience while deeply exciting its readers has finally arrived. Make way for pandemic erotica!

Filed Under: News

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