Why study for finals when you could demonstrate your failure in so many other ways?

Andrew, the final fuck, confided to The Slant that he is worried that Quincy might not give him up. 

In his report, Elliott states, “After 80 hours straight of intense scientific study, I have discovered that the clowns are not real clowns; they are actually people that have painted their face and put on a clown costume."

Students close to William Thompson believe he has developed an erotic attraction to the difficulty of Vanderbilt’s Engineering School.

In a press conference on Monday, Chancellor Nicholas Zeppos announced that select students from financially disadvantaged families will receive state-of-the-art typewriters designed by IBM under a new scholarship sponsored by IBM.