Vanderbilt's Satirical Newspaper - Est. 1886

The Slant
Vanderbilt's Satirical Newspaper — Est. 1886
Vanderbilt Fails to Pay Their Dining Staff Sufficient Wages, But It’s Okay Because There’s a Giant Sriracha Bottle in Commons
QUIZ: Can You Tell Which Of These Headlines Were Written By An AI?
QUIZ: Can You Tell Which Of These Headlines Were Written By An AI?
The Slant’s Summer 2021 Celebrity Predictions
The Slant’s Summer 2021 Celebrity Predictions
IN PHOTOS: Slant Pets 2021
IN PHOTOS: Slant Pets 2021
If You Order Another Caprese, I Swear I’m Going to Lose My Shit
A wide angle view of the St. Louis, Missouri metropolitan area shot via helicopter from the Illinois side of the Mississippi River from an altitude of about 700 feet.
St. Louis Mayor Reacts to Recent Drop in USNews ‘Most Dangerous City’ Rankings
Putin Pledges to End War in Ukraine After Watching Katy Perry Stare at a Flower in Space
Putin Pledges to End War in Ukraine After Watching Katy Perry Stare at a Flower in Space
Western USA Economy and Inflation Filling Gas Tank Viewing Sales Price at The Pump Photo Series
Joe Biden Gas Station Stickers Now Generously Applaud the President for Reducing Prices Nationwide
A Melting Economy: The North Pole Recession
A Melting Economy: The North Pole Recession
BREAKING: Sex Strike!
BREAKING: Sex Strike!
Couple silhouette enjoying romantic colorful twilight. Valentines Day, honeymoon romantic date concepts
ISO: A Man to Help Me Get Over the Man I Used to Get Over My Ex 
Woman listening to music, wear wireless white headphones, using mobile smart phone, chatting in social networks, sitting next to the window, houseplants on windowsill. Life at home. Time to relax.
Revenge of the Daylist
Library bookshelf: colorful spines, warm wood, neatly organized. Perfect for calm reflection and study
Owen Library: Sex Dungeon 
Two successful female executives shaking hands for partnership and standing at office while team members clapping hands at them.
Excited to Announce: My Summer as a Remote Strategic Growth Synergy Pipeline Optimization Consulting Intern at Ascendancy Global Solutions Inc.™
Profile side view portrait of his he her she nice attractive lovely gentle cheerful, peaceful calm people wearing casual cuddling isolated over bright vivid shine blue green background
The Mid-Man Phenomenon
Learning foreign languages. Happy african american schoolgirl studying english posing with UK flag on yellow background. Ethnic preteen girl with backpack and flag of England smiling looking at camera
The British are Coming: Why You Should Be Scared at the Rising Number of British International Students at Vanderbilt
A young woman snooze an alarm on her phone in the morning
Op-Ed: Yes, I Set 10 Alarms Between 7 and 8 AM. Does My Roommate Like Me?
So You Want to Have Sex with Eeyore? You Aren’t Alone.
So You Want to Have Sex with Eeyore? You Aren’t Alone.
Young happy friends on a music concert at night.
Top Artists Whose Art I Have to Separate Them From to Enjoy
Classic comfort of menstrual pads.Woman taking sanitary napkin from table, suffering from menstrual pain, closeup. Female period and intimate hygiene
DEAR PERIODS: STOP IT!
The Vanderbilt Slupdate: Episode 3
The Vanderbilt Slupdate: Episode 2
The Vanderbilt Slupdate Episode 1
Nashville, TN - October 24, 2025: FirstBank Stadium is home to the Vanderbilt University football team.
10 Wins is Not Enough
I Survived ESPN's College Gameday
I Survived ESPN’s College Gameday
bottled water flowing.
Wet and Wild: Waterboy Speaks on Commodore’s Football Season
Fitness woman running training for marathon on sunny coast trail
The Slant’s Guide to Running 
Making a field goal or extra point through the goal post during an American football game at night in stadium with lens flare from the lights.
Commodore Defense Demonstrates Best Ways to Sleep During a Sports Game and More
Learning foreign languages. Happy african american schoolgirl studying english posing with UK flag on yellow background. Ethnic preteen girl with backpack and flag of England smiling looking at camera
The British are Coming: Why You Should Be Scared at the Rising Number of British International Students at Vanderbilt
E. Bronson Ingram College: Heaven Amongst Hell  
E. Bronson Ingram College: Heaven Amongst Hell  
Happy Latin American group of students studying together at the library - education concepts
Perfecting Your Study Break
young athletic african american man sits in dark gym and uses smartphone, sports guy types online on the phone in fitness club and smiles
Guy at Rec on Most Popular Machine Starts 4th Clash Royale Game.   
The Prodigal Glove
The Prodigal Glove
Vanderbilt's Satirical Newspaper - Est. 1886

The Slant
Vanderbilt's Satirical Newspaper - Est. 1886

The Slant

SOON-TO-BE-BREAKING: Everyone Sucks

November 13, 2017

In light of recent news, it seems almost certain that soon, everyone, absolutely everyone on the planet Earth, will be revealed to be absolute garbage.

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