My eyes are bloodshot red. I haven’t blinked in the past hour. My room is dark except for the white and blue light emanating from my screen. My friends are all going out tonight. Probably going to some bar or kickback where they will interact with real people and hear...
“This will show them we mean business,” said Gulley Hender (Class of ‘23) as he tossed the last roll of toilet paper into the massive pile on Alumni Lawn. A member of the crowd screamed “douse it!” On cue, the group of students ran around the mound of toilet paper...
Click below to view photos… From Freshman Kickoff to the historic Founder’s Walk, Vanderbilt is doing everything it can to create the picturesque campus environment the Office of Admissions can funnel into the mouths of groveling high school seniors nationwide. However, Vanderbilt’s gambit to perpetuate its reign by feasting on...
What they don’t tell you about satirical publications is that the writers are actually not funny whatsoever. They are the most painfully awkward and insufferable people you will ever meet. Trust me, I know; I am one. I did not attend a single Slant meeting last semester. Here is what...
Vanderbilt dining has been described as bad, horrible, dogshit, made me cry, dryer than a chem lecture and twice as long, feels like someone took my stomach outside and beat it with a shovel, more tasteless than truck nuts on a hearse, blood curdling, just regular curdling, seafood in a...
