Following Prince’s death, God rethinks his creative prowess.
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According to recent reports, Jesus has decided to go Greek after being admitted Early Decision to Vanderbilt University.
“You were the dude I threw up on at the frat party last weekend. I was the blonde wearing green, and my red Solo cup bounced off your dadbod when I fell off the stage.”
“Becky was the hottest girl in the grade, and everyone knew that she was a shoo-in for Juliet,” Freeman said, explaining his rationale in dulcet tones. “All I had to do was get the part of Romeo, and I was golden!”
“Ah, shit.” Sources report hearing those words leave the window of Brian Shaker’s Chevy Impala on Thursday afternoon.
