By James Cross Ben Shapiro is coming to campus to flex his mental muscles on some unsuspecting college students, or so he thinks. The best way to not get caught with one’s pants down by the master debater is to keep them tight around one’s waist, so to speak. In...
From: Donald J. Trump Subject: I want to do something extra special on January 6th this year… Date: September 18, 2024 3:14 AM A MEMO FROM RIGHTFUL PRESIDENT TRUMP Patriot, FEAR NOT! After yet ANOTHER attempt on my life, I will be fighting even stronger! I AM VERY PROUD TO...
By Alex Tomack and Nathaniel Berry Eve, Isaac Newton, Steve Jobs – all pioneers of their respective lanes in the world of apples. Of these three, Steve Jobs stands undisputed as the most influential; however, his legacy may soon be tarnished, as recently the Department of Justice filed a lawsuit...
Dear Kirkland Protesters, My name is Carol Pinkett, and I am concerned about the recent “sit-ins” on Kirkland Lawn. Firstly, let me make clear, I am a liberal. My parents voted for Obama, twice. I cheated on my conservative boyfriend, Dylan, as an act of accountability. I am super down...
By Alex Tomack In addition to running campaign ads that feel 70 years late, independent candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has been trying to demonstrate that he’s fit for the presidency in the most literal sense — by doing pushups. 9, to be exact. How is this surprisingly average amount...
