Halloweekend is just around the corner. Maybe you’ve been organized and already have your sassy-scary-spicy-spooky-shiny-slutty costume planned out. Or maybe you’ve been naughty and pushed it to the last minute. Either way, you’ve decided to consult the Slant, home to Vanderbilt’s hottest and horniest. You’re in good hands! So here’s...
By Sammie Roe Hey babie girl, It’s Sammie! Your bestie festie roomie. I just wanted to let you know why I left your party early. I had an essay due that night at 11:59 PM and I completely forgot about it until we were taking shots of Jack Daniels, and...
Dear Professor, I just wanted to apologize for my thoughtlessness in asking you to reschedule your midterm. You were right in your refusal to do so. It was a gross oversight on my part, as I should have considered the importance of your midterm over Yom Kippur. You clearly established...
Kids these days. They don’t remember the troubling times of the lawless, anarchic 2000s where anything went. Y2K embedded a youthful nonchalance in newly-wed couples to give their children anything plastic into which they could sink their teeth. Asbestos was out, but microplastics were IN. Late-night TV ads offered a...
If they were a true friend they would understand that when you make a commitment, you stand by it. Yeah sure, the shirt started as a satiric play on the frat guys who wear it seriously even though they have most certainly never seen a breast in their life. But...
