‘Tis The Season For Course Evaluations
By Nick Gebo and Sam Sliman
It’s that time of year again. As the season of course evaluations rolls around, we, as seasoned experts in the art of academic critique, have once again been asked by the university to embark on the daunting yet supremely important task of evaluating our courses and professors. Now, to be honest, the most challenging part of this exercise is trying to remember what our classes even looked like considering our physical attendance was shaky at best and “grounds for expulsion” at worst, but still, we prevailed, once again helping Vanderbilt students present and future by blessing our professors with our valuable feedback.
Computers and Ethics
What elements of the course most contributed to your learning?
The course syllabus was an invaluable resource, mostly because I didn’t bother reading anything else. It’s amazing how much you can learn about a course without ever stepping foot in the classroom. In fact, things like the course code and the professor’s name ended up being truly enlightening. I just wish I could’ve met the guy.
What improvements to the course would you recommend?
I heard the lectures were great — I almost considered going once or twice. Maybe think about podcasting them next time? My attention span has gotten so short that I can’t really do anything slower than 2x speed.
Do you have any other comments?
Should this really be a required class? As computer science students, we all already know that our moral decree is to go work for a defense contractor, or at the very least a large oil company. Like duh, that’s why they pay so much money. I don’t need to take a class to know that the higher the number in my bank account, the better of a person I am. I guess I did kinda learn that I probably shouldn’t talk over the women so much? I try not to, but whenever we have our meetings about how to most effectively lobby against environmental regulations that would counteract the impending climate crisis, I just can’t help but be generous enough to educate them about the field. It must just be the gentleman in me.
Rapid Prototyping
What elements of the course most contributed to your learning?
Our trip to the Oak Ridge laboratory was one of the best things I’ve done at this school. On the way there, the driver was temporarily distracted by a really cool bird, and Professor REDACTED let me take over driving the bus. I don’t have a CDL, but the controls were simple enough. Once we got to the laboratory, my obsession with the Manhattan Project compelled me to reach over the radiation guard and touch a piece of history. When Professor REDACTED looked my way, I was worried I would get in trouble, but he just nodded proudly and looked away as I took it out of the enclosure and secured it in my backpack. The sixth finger on my left hand that I developed from the radiation really made the project where we designed a phone case more difficult, but typing things like my course evaluations is much quicker now.
What improvements to the course would you recommend?
I missed taking the safety quiz which was very detrimental to my final grade, but it enabled me to sidestep the usual safety protocols. Not being encumbered by these burdensome traditions has drastically improved my experience in the class and the increased efficiency enabled me to be a more valuable member of our final project team. While there were certainly sacrifices that were made in this pursuit, the removal of the safety quiz is what we need to drive innovation in this current economy.
Do you have any other comments?
Professor REDACTED often warned us of the dangers of starting a project too close to the due date, but given that the class is called “Rapid Prototyping”, I feel the late start is only appropriate. The only way to build true skill is to leave yourself as little time as possible, forcing you to innovate rapidly in real time; thus, I think the consequences for failure should be lighter. Failure to produce a safe product in this class results in a loss of GPA, whereas in the real world, it’s unlikely that the regulators would ever catch up to the rapid advances in technology. Theoretically, in the real world, reckless abandon can cause you to get “class action lawsuits,” detained by the “department of homeland security,” or arrested for “public endangerment,” but it is often easy enough to pay off the inspectors that I don’t tend to worry about it.
Error Correcting Codes and Cryptography
What elements of the course most contributed to your learning?
I think the part where my professor read directly out of the textbook for the entire semester was really useful.
What improvements to the course would you recommend?
Despite the class being called “Error Correcting Codes and Cryptography,” I don’t think it was very helpful to deliver all lectures through coded messages slipped under our doors at night. Even though I’ve really gotten good at quickly deciphering Pig Latin, these cryptic poems made it much more difficult to absorb the material. I mean, it’s like my Grandfather always used to say: “mUHienfji389n2VHk4fbjisajnjEco90iamkOKHJIF4bjhafbisu38.”
Do you have any other comments?
Could someone help me figure this one out? My final is in 2 days:
“The future,
like the past that is no more,
wields a reckless hope,
like the ElGamal signature scheme wields a hash function to map a message of arbitrary length to a message digest.”
Elementary Sanskrit I
What elements of the course most contributed to your learning?
वर्गः अतीव सुष्ठु कार्यं कृतवान्, अधुना संस्कृतं वक्तुं न शक्नोमि
Editor’s note: “The class worked too well, and now I can’t stop speaking Sanskrit”
What improvements to the course would you recommend?
अहं मन्ये अस्माभिः ईश्वरस्य कृते गोपुरस्य निर्माणेन आरम्भः करणीयः
Editor’s Note: “I think we should start by building a tower to God.”
Do you have any other comments?
No.
How to Make (Almost) Anything
What elements of the course most contributed to your learning?
We really hit the ground running by covering how to make nuclear weapons on the second day of class, then diving straight into making sourdough bread on the third. It got a little slow in week four when we spent the entire week learning how to make every different part of a toaster, but we picked back up in the next week by covering the entire history of textile manufacturing. Overall, this was a really enlightening experience and I’m really looking forward to the next class in the course: “How to Destroy (Almost) Anything.”
What improvements to the course would you recommend?
I really thought that “(almost) anything” wasn’t going to be a big problem, but everyone freaked out when I started trying to 3D print sex toys. I thought this was a free country? If you’re thinking of taking this class, don’t be fooled. The censorship is outrageous.
Do you have any other comments?
Before taking this class, make sure you have room to store at least 70 pounds of fabric, six kitchen appliances, a nuclear warhead or two, and about 10 cubic feet of other miscellaneous sharp objects. If you aren’t able to store them yourself, they’ll be donated to a local Goodwill.
Poverty in America
What elements of the course most contributed to your learning?
I’m not going to lie, I just couldn’t learn because I found the material to be super unrelatable.
What improvements to the course would you recommend?
Honestly, the professor was super biased and constantly a major downer. I fully understand poverty exists and that bums some people out. However, growing up, our household staff of 16 included some of the happiest people I’ve known. Meanwhile, my family was often miserable dealing with our more “intellectual” problems. The professor failed to present ANY nuance which made all the class discussions so one-sided.
Do you have any other comments?
I think maybe it just doesn’t make sense for a course like this to be offered at this university.
Reverse Engineering
What elements of the course most contributed to your learning?
We’ve spent so much time at this school learning how to engineer things, so it was really helpful to take a step backwards and figure out how to actually STOP people from engineering things. The live demonstration where the professor blew up a bridge was super cool, but it seemed to really freak the other students out. I guess they just don’t really get the spirit of reverse engineering.
What improvements to the course would you recommend?
My friend Josh didn’t really want to have to get so close to the power lines we were cutting, but he kinda had to after the professor told him to “man up” and “stop being a bitch.” In the future, I think it would really be a safer and more equitable space if we didn’t let such pussies into the class.
Do you have any other comments?
Shoutout Professor REDACTED for a great semester! We had so much fun, and it was definitely worth the fact that the class took three credit hours AWAY from my major.
