Is Your Senator Older Than This Object?

You might think there is no way someone in the US Senate was alive while PROHIBITION was still a thing. Wrong! The 21st amendment was ratified on December 5, 1933. Dianne Feinstein (CA) and Chuck Grassley (IA) were both born the same year, prior to the ratification of the amendment. 

Dianne Feinstein (CA), Chuck Grassley (IA), Jim Inhofe (OK) and Richard Shelby (AL) are older! While the chocolate chip cookie may only be 84 (invented in 1938), these lucky lads and ladies are rockin’ it with our rights at 86 and 87 years old.

The staple of suburban America is a spritely 77 years old, invented in 1945. Patrick Leahy and Bernie Sanders (VT), Mitch McConnell (KY), Jim Risch (ID), Ben Cardin (MD), Angus King (ME) and Dick Durbin (IL) are all older! That’s a very long list! Could you imagine if something super important had to be decided by all of them? Geez! Oh, wait—can’t forget those old fuckers from before: Dianne Feinstein (CA), Chuck Grassley (IA), Jim Inhofe (OK) and Richard Shelby (AL).

Ah well, this is more of a reflection of a different problem with our society now isn’t it? The AK-47 was invented in 1947. I feel like that’s a bit, ya know, sad. Nonetheless, the AK-47 was somehow invented 12 years before driver’s licenses were required by all 50 states but after Richard Blumenthal (CT) and Ed Markey (MA) were born. For the literarily challenged, that makes them older than the AK-47—along with all those other names you know by now. But let’s list them again anyways: Patrick Leahy and Bernie Sanders (VT), Mitch McConnell (KY), Jim Risch (ID), Ben Cardin (MD), Angus King (ME), Dick Durbin (IL), Dianne Feinstein (CA), Chuck Grassley (IA), Jim Inhofe (OK) and Richard Shelby (AL).

Tom Carper (DE), Jeanne Shaheen (NH), Mitt Romney (UT), Joe Manchin (WV), Mazie Hirono (HI), Ron Wyden (OR), Elizabeth Warren (MA), Jack Reed (RI), Roy Blunt (MO), Debbie Stabenow (MI), Patty Murray (WA), Chuck Schumer (NY) and John Boozman (AR). All these Senators are in their early 70s! Many of them have just been reelected to serve another six years in the United States Senate. Of course, everyone else listed before is older than superglue too. It’s too much effort to type their names out again though, and it’s not like you’re gonna read through them all again anyway.

Literally all of them! You too! Tennessee (Anchor Down!) just made slavery illegal—Tuesday!