Featured Org of the Week: WOKE VU

WOKE VU (White Organization that Knows Everything @ Vanderbilt University)

Do you care about recent political issues, such as BLM, LGBTQ discrimination, mass incarceration, and violence against women? Are you just a white, cisgender man who’s looking for a place to engage in enlightening conversation? Specifically, are you a brother of ZBT, DTD, or a SAE who wants to look cool with the lib chicks?

There’s a new student organization that might be perfect for you. WOKE VU, which stands for  the White Organization that Knows Everything at Vanderbilt University, is a new organization exclusively for straight white men that are “socially liberal” but “fiscally conservative” to talk about the political issues caused by white privilege. The Slant profiled this groundbreaking organization as our Featured Org of the Week.

General board meetings occur every Sunday morning at 8 am, as the painful hangovers and sleep deprivation caused by those rockin’ parties the night before ensure all the bros are in a prime state of mind to delve into deep discussion.

Gerald Johnson, president and founder of WOKE VU, explained that the first meeting was full of discourse on political correctness. “We discussed the struggles that the LGBTQ community faces today,” Johnson said. “In order to truly understand the challenges of being a gay man in 2019’s America, we each went around the circle and kissed each other. The activity gave me perspective on what it means to be a gay man in 2019, and I felt very connected to the community. No homo tho.”

WOKE later discussed in their first meeting the importance of advocating for equality. One member cleverly thought about creating a list of words people can say instead of the n word, to help those who have trouble when singing songs such as Mo Bamba, Sicko Mode, and Mr. Brightside. Some words that were suggested include nugget, neighbor, sitter, stripper, and just  simply mouthing the n-word but not actually saying it.

WOKE VU is not all about lengthy discussions. The dudes also take service trips to ensure they have a deeper understanding of the issues they discuss. Last Sunday, the group went down Alumni Lawn to the KC Potter Center to shake hands with a lesbian. Next week, they plan to all meet outside of a regular meeting time to attend an NPHC party, regardless of the constant complaints from multiple presidents that they’re not cool with “white boys observing us like monkeys”. The service trips ensure that, through this exposure to different experiences, they recognize their privilege.

Now, you might be asking: why is WOKE exclusively for white people? Johnson explains that “Yeah, it looks like we’re doing that whole ‘separate but equal’ bullcrap, but think about this: If there are organizations specifically for the blacks, gays or women, then there should be places for us to congregate as well. We’re not racist or sexist, I myself would’ve voted Obama for a third term! We just need a space exclusively for people like us to discuss these diverse matters that affect our daily lives.”

So, if you’re interested, please come by the BCC on Sunday morning. First 20 dudes get a free Gucci t-shirt that has the words “Check your privilege” in 24 – carat gold lettering. When I asked if I could have one, Johnson refused to comment.