Op-Ed: We’re Not Ready For Migos Tonight

We’ve all been there. You know, on the crowded porch of a tailgate, atop the couch at a Mayfield, pressed into the tiny window of Towers suite living room. You hear Jamie Foxx croon through the speakers, “She take my money.” OOOO! It is on! you think. Gold Digger? Yes! I’m about to BOP! “Yeah, she’s a triflin’ friend indeed,” Foxx urges. You sing out to the ceiling with all the soul in the world, your drink high, your fist a microphone. “Oh, she’s a gold digger. Way over town that digs on me.” You, Foxx, and the rest of the crowd ring out. You look to your neighbor signaling them that it is on now!

So everyone jumps full throttle into the chorus, right? You’ve been there. Some sing Foxx’s echos, while others take Kanye’s lead. “(She give me money) Now, I ain’t sayin’ she a gold digger.” And you think everything is normal, well, until you hear Johnny yell out with full force: “But she ain’t messin’ with no broke n*****!!!”

Excuse me what. No. No. No. Johnny, what? Now we all know the song. The line reappears, “But she ain’t messin’ with no broke n*****!!!” And this time you hear Jacob, Tyler, Carol, Lawson, Sarah Anne, Adeline, Connor, Brett, Holly, Allison, Garrett, and Jenna and suddenly, you come to the realization that everyone here is saying it! Hell you don’t even say the N-word!

Do they see you standing there? Are you blending in? You look down at your arm, suspicious your skin has turned white. It hasn’t! (Oh darn)

But you ask yourself how could this happen because alas everyone here is white? You look around for your black allies, all two of them here. And you three exchange raised eyebrows tinted with disdain and confusion.

Did y’all miss something?! Was there a meme or a tweet from black twitter allowing white people to drop the N-word cOmFoRTabLY around black people?

Nope.

There wasn’t.

You haphazardly sway on beat and think.. Wait,

“Holla we want prenup. We want prenup yaaaah!”

I think Johnny went to private school in Connecticut. And Sarah Anne told you drunk in an uber to Rippy’s that you were the first black person she actually talked to.. in her life..

None of this makes sense. You start hyperventilating. Oh my God. You wonder… what on earth will happen when Migos performs at a top tier, predominantly white institution in the former confederate half of the Unites States…?

But we’re in a post-racial America so we should be good, right?