We Want Bama, But We Also Want Universal Health Care
After Vanderbilt’s tight victory over #18 Kansas State last week to start off the football season 3-0, the Commodores turned their attention to an Alabama program coached by Nick Saban that is currently ranked #1 in the nation. We interviewed Junior quarterback Kyle Shurmur, who has had a great start to the season with 8 touchdowns and no interceptions after the game.
“We want ‘bama,” Shurmur excitedly proclaimed after his team’s hard-won victory. “But we also want Affordable Universal Health Care.”
While Vanderbilt’s recent performance has been stellar, the number of sacks on Shurmur have increased since Trump announced his plans to repeal Obamacare: “Sometimes I get so concerned for those who will lose coverage for their pre-existing conditions I lose track of time in the pocket,” explained Shurmur.
As team captain, Shurmur has been trying to encourage open dialogue and communication. “We’ve converted our locker room into both a safe space and a brave space, and we’ve had some really productive conversations about the current state of the health care system in the United States. We’ve realized that we unanimously support the idea of Universal Health Care under a single payer system. Vanderbilt football believes in the motto “one team” and “one coach”.
Shurmur continued, “Our team works like a single payer health care system because, like the government being the only payer, Coach Mason is the only guide we need to succeed, teaching us plays and giving us pep talks. With privatized health insurance, it would be like all our players having different coaches and learning different plays. Ridiculous.”
When asked what the team did to celebrate after last week’s victory, running back Ralph Webb reports that, “We popped champagne and got really got fired up about how a single payer system with an individual mandate fixes the market problem of elevated premiums by making everyone, including healthy people, buy into the system. It just makes sense.”
Shurmur also praised head coach Derek Mason’s leadership, highlighting his contribution to the program’s recent victories. “Coach Mason explains to us the importance of equity in both football and the US healthcare system. Since health issues can’t be predicted and can be financially overwhelming, by implementing this program the government provides affordable care to everyone regardless of income. It’s like, if a player gets a calf-cramp during an NFL game, the trainer comes out to stretch him no matter how much his contract is worth. We really want ‘bama and we’re gonna be damn ready for a fight next week, but we also think it’s time we got Universal Health Care.”
Kickoff against ‘bama is at 2:30pm this Saturday.
Written by Tess Batchelder & Quinn Heyrich
