Kim Kardashian Declares Traditional Pregnancy Passé

In a recent interview with People Magazine, Kim Kardashian set the tabloids buzzing, announcing that she will be having a third baby through a surrogate mother. Then, to follow up that bombshell, Kim made a declaration that rocked the fashion world: she declared that traditional pregnancy is officially out of style.

Kim elaborated on her proclamation by saying, “I like how being pregnant like normal is, like, natural and all, but at this point it’s a little overplayed. I feel like everyone’s doing it and I’m not trying to be so mainstream.” She also drew from her previous experience delivering two kids, insightfully recalling that childbirth was “gross,” “ow,” and “not cool.”

Expectant mothers around the world are in panic that their now out-of-date method of pregnancy will destine their kids to be unfashionable. Doctors have been flooded with requests for up to third trimester transitions of pregnancies into surrogacy but so far, no one has been willing to attempt the new procedure.

Kim has championed the method of carrying a child through a surrogate as “the new wave of 2017.” When asked why surrogate childbirth would be so popular, Kim equated it to another field she has experience in: online shopping.

“It’s just like Amazon you know, you just make a few clicks and the baby’s all ordered, I didn’t even have to leave the house.” In fact, Kim is so onboard with this new surrogacy trend, she could only think of one drawback. “It sucks that they don’t have that Prime two-day shipping,” Kim explained, “they said the expected delivery date is in like June but whatever, maybe I’ll find a way to get it expedited and here by Christmas. That would be a nice present for ‘Ye.”