7 of the Best Ways to Not Hate Your Drive Back So Much That It Makes You Feel Like Rebelling Against Your Parents and Dropping Out of School
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Get really high, so much so that you green-out and forget the entire ride. But your family will remember it for your incessant whining about how you’re really hungry and the constant stops every time you saw a Burger King, McDonald’s, or Taco Bell.
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Get really drunk, so drunk that you blackout and forget the whole drive to school. Your parents will definitely not appreciate the constant puking but you’re happy, so it doesn’t matter.
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Stare into the sky and ponder the upcoming solar eclipse. Soon, the moon will block out the sun and the world will be dark. So dark, that the minuscule problem of fighting with your mom over which of the three stations playing Despacito is the one you should listen to, will seem insignificant.
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Get woke. Shit happened this summer. So hop on twitter, and wake up.
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Read the autobiography of Cornelius Vanderbilt. Your parents will be asking you about why you don’t already have an internship offer for next summer, but you’ll be memorizing facts about good ole Commodore V that will help you get into a frat party the next time the brother at the door asks you “how many brothers did good ole Mr. C have?”
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Practice your “what-you-did-this-summer” speech. Your parents are already bothering you, so why not pretend they are that girl you half-know who came up to you at a tailgate last year. Brush up on those internship facts and be sure to say how much work you have coming up this year. And while you’re at it, brush up on your major and where you live, just in case a first year asks you.
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Just remember you’re going back to Vanderbilt, the school with “the happiest students.” They’re probably the happiest because the PCC finally learned how to use the bcc function for emails.
Written by Kahan Modi & Jack Sentell
