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The Slant

Vanderbilt's Satirical Newspaper - Est. 1886

HUMOR AND SATIRE

Tess Batchelder

Harvard of the South? More like Yale of the Super Remote Chicago Suburbs

February 25, 2019 by Tess Batchelder

2019 US News rankings reveal that Duke has usurped Vanderbilt’s top ranking as “The Harvard of the South." Instead, Vanderbilt has been demoted to a slightly lower ranking: “The Yale of the Super Remote Chicago Suburbs." The magazine warns readers not to get this confused with Yale University, which was ranked “The Princeton of New Haven, CT.” Vanderbilt students have been … [Read more...] about Harvard of the South? More like Yale of the Super Remote Chicago Suburbs

Loaves of Bread: The Best Thing Since Sliced Bread

November 27, 2018 by Tess Batchelder

In the past month, hundreds of farm-to-table restaurants have adopted the new trend of serving whole loaves of bread rather than slices. These restaurants intend to challenge the consumer to interact with the loaf, to truly take on the mentality: “Let’s get this bread." Some restaurants even require that customers finish the entire loaf before leaving the table, akin to the … [Read more...] about Loaves of Bread: The Best Thing Since Sliced Bread

4/20 Blaze

April 20, 2018 by Tess Batchelder

Blaze. … [Read more...] about 4/20 Blaze

How My Global Brigades Trip Made Me a Good Person

March 14, 2018 by Tess Batchelder

Over spring break, I went on a service trip to the Dominican Republic with Global Brigades that changed my life forever. When we arrived in the Dominican Republic, I was immediately astounded with how gross everything was. There were dogs everywhere scratching themselves, and everyone was wearing dirty clothes. It was so sad. Our hotel was also in really bad condition. The wifi … [Read more...] about How My Global Brigades Trip Made Me a Good Person

Christian Student Gives Up God for Lent

February 13, 2018 by Tess Batchelder

Vanderbilt student and devoted Christian, Micah Smith, reports that he is giving up God for Lent this year. Lent is a six week period, this year beginning on February 14th and ending March 29th. According to Wikipedia, “the purpose of Lent is the preparation of the believer through prayer, doing penance, mortifying the flesh, repentance of sins, almsgiving, and self-denial.” … [Read more...] about Christian Student Gives Up God for Lent

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A time honored Vanderbilt tradition By Estelle Sh A time honored Vanderbilt tradition

By Estelle Shaya
Drop your best 2026 admissions stats in the commen Drop your best 2026 admissions stats in the comments
@quinnxcii We’ll back off in exchange for three @quinnxcii We’ll back off in exchange for three (3) VIP Coachella tickets
Apparently next Oscars will feature Guillermo Del Apparently next Oscars will feature Guillermo Del Toro and Timothee Chalamet wrestling in a kiddie pool full of Jello

By Sam Sliman
Stay tuned for more Vandy logo slander Stay tuned for more Vandy logo slander
You can’t fix your bracket, but you can still fi You can’t fix your bracket, but you can still fix your mental health.

By Jack Hollier
Very Important! Please read By Damian Ho Very Important! Please read

By Damian Ho
Wow! This is so inspiring! Wow! This is so inspiring!
It’s not his fault that fossil fuels are much mo It’s not his fault that fossil fuels are much more profitable than universities

By Sam Sliman
EVERYTHING IS FINE. THERE IS NO REASON TO BE CONCE EVERYTHING IS FINE. THERE IS NO REASON TO BE CONCERNED.
Victim of financial aid collusion? You may be enti Victim of financial aid collusion? You may be entitled to one free meal swipe

By Sam Sliman
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