Thanksgiving is right around the corner, and if you’re white and from the South like me, that means two things: sweet potatoes and skinheads. Mmhhmmm. Let’s get cookin!!! To be perfectly honest, I love the South: There’s nothing better than good ol’ Southern cooking. Biscuits, stuffing... with a spread this good, you can hardly notice the two eye-holes cut in your uncle’s … [Read more...] about Gobble, Gobble, Goebels: Thanksgiving with my Neo-Nazi Relatives
Study Shows: 1 in Every 5 Pieces of Halloween Candy is a Loaded Gun
For years the FDA has advised caution towards trick-or-treaters due to the possibility of razor blades hidden in unwrapped candy; however, this year they shockingly released the stipulation that one in every five pieces of halloween candy will indeed be a loaded gun. Upon releasing this announcement, parents across the nation were chilled to their milky bones over the … [Read more...] about Study Shows: 1 in Every 5 Pieces of Halloween Candy is a Loaded Gun
Ten “Fun Fact” Templates for Boring Fuckers Like You
Wow! Fun facts are so fun! Congrats, you joined some bullshit club to make yourself seem like a “well-rounded” Vanderbilt student! Now it is time to do some shitty ice-breaking exercise, but this can be challenging for a boring fucker such as yourself. So, here are ten fun fact templates to help mask the mundanity of your sad, shitty life. 1. Least favorite … [Read more...] about Ten “Fun Fact” Templates for Boring Fuckers Like You