Vanderbilt Updates Freedom of Expression Policies and Expands Civil Discourse Programming

Welcome Class of 2029 and Upperclassmen! 

Here at Vanderbilt’s Offices of Undergraduate Education and Admissions, we are thrilled to re-open our doors to Vanderbilt’s brilliant, creative minds. This semester, we will be watching our most innovative and talented young adults yet take on our curriculum with enthusiasm. Incoming and returning students, please review the following announcements and newly instated changes to our policies. Anchor down!

For the 2025-2026 school year (and the foreseeable future), Dialogue Vanderbilt will be sponsored and mediated by the SEC Enforcement Chapter of Project 2025. This will result in various cross-campus changes to ensure consistency with our new values:

1. VU Dining will no longer offer soy, oat, almond and pea milk alternatives.
2. Due to a changing of the guard within Arts & Sciences faculty, the GSS (Gender & Sexuality Studies) major and minor will be retired and replaced with PISS (Politics, Idolatry, & Subservience Studies), effective immediately. 
3. All housing options will no longer offer co-ed floors. 

This year, Dialogue Vanderbilt x Project 2025 will operate as the centerpiece of challenging conversations on campus and freshman orientation. Prior to our Commodores’ arrival on campus this week, VU Office of Undergraduate Education and VU Admissions were mandated to share the following guidelines and norms for Dialogue Vanderbilt seminars, classroom discussion and casual conversation. Generally, we expect our students to uphold and honor these standards in all aspects of communication, but especially so in our partner space of Dialogue Vanderbilt and Project 2025. We are confident our ‘Dores are more than capable of anything and we know they will take this in stride! Please read the following language moderation guide.

Forbidden Language
Brought to you by the SEC’s Representatives for Project 2025

1. Non-Biblically-Referenced Names

We understand that students come in from diverse backgrounds, but we recommend filing name change petitions to create a more unified student body. If such filing processes prove impossible, Vanderbilt University will compromise with identification by Commodore ID (000XXXXXX) in place of unacceptable birthnames. Some examples of permitted names are as follows: Jezebel, Judas, Nebuchadnezzar, Salome, Bartholomew, Abraham and David. Some examples of ill-advised names: Kai, Rowan, Ash, Wren and Robin.

2. Unpaid Internship

At Vanderbilt University, we expect a high work ethic and a majority (100%) employment status of our students. “Unpaid internship” is synonymous with “low income,” and “unemployment,” both of which are highly discouraged characteristics of VU students. What are we doing here — giving out dining hall-applicable food stamps? In the future, we ask that you use the term “jobless freeloader” to describe your inadequacy.

3. Jack Abramoff

Jack Abramoff’s name implies a certain unsavory act of sodomy that misrepresents the esteemed history of the conservative party. Further, his actions identify him as one of the most corrupt politicians and felons in history, which is a demographic that of course does not represent the party.

4. Latin root, “liber”

Words with a Latin root in common with liberal pose serious threats to the maintenance of campus civility. Please adapt your vocabulary to exclude words such as liberation, liberty and as aforementioned, liberal. 

5. Bartholomew

Actually, this name is no longer permitted, as it is so terrible.

6. Irrigation; Seepage; Tepid; Flambé

They’re also terrible. And odd and discomforting.

7. Motherfucker

We expect a level of decorum and couth from Vanderbilt students. “Motherfucker” as an insult implies fornication outside of the walls of marriage, which is strictly forbidden. Thus, if copulation is only occurring between prospective or already-existent mothers and fathers “motherfucker” is redundant. This term should be replaced with positive names for husband and wife: Offspring-Embedder & Offspring-Incubator or Offspring Accomplices.

8. Zygote

This one is self-explanatory. Try unborn baby, future child or the second coming of Christ.

9. Acronyms 

Most acronyms are unacceptable — the Woke Left tends to fabricate these as a way of obfuscating their propaganda: LGBTQ+, DEI, USDA, FDA, VUPD, etc. However, we believe in neutrality and thus allow some leeway for acceptable-use acronyms: MAGA, PISS (Vanderbilt’s new major/minor), GOP, NRA, CREEP, BWW, CFA, etc.

Language that Warrants a Warning

1. Allergies

At VU, we come together. We forget our differences to unify as a greater whole. Also, we don’t act like little bitches. To prevent social stratification, all students must abstain from sensitivities and allergies. We can no longer stand idly by as students and staff seek to accommodate the following “allergens” (which will cease to be a permitted vocabulary term promptly after the dispersal of this material): 

2. Macklemore

Discussion of this figure and his so-called “morals” is in direct conflict with the instated policies of Project 2025. Further, the archetype of students that tend toward conversation of Macklemore reduces the general quality of student life.

3. Women/Woman

Also self-explanatory.

Thank you, students. Have a great fall semester & remember your new tenets!