The Slant Faces Copyright Suit From Local Scoliosis Club

Who would have thought a name could cause so much controversy? 

Beloved, prestigious satire publication The Slant recently fell under intense legal fire. The publication’s name was created by Editor-in-Chief Sam “Jesus” Sliman as a cheeky play on the idea that the news publication is biased (or “slanted”). However, as time went on, The Slant’s widespread success caught the attention of a local club dedicated to victims of scoliosis, or a sideways curvature in the spine. Now, the seemingly harmless name has become the subject of a copyright suit from the Nashville club that goes by the exact same name. 

The Scoliosis Club was founded in 1919 by Greek physicist, Galen, who noted an awkward crookedness in his wife’s back. Vexed with his wife’s complaining about her back pain, he decided to create a group where she could vent her grievances to those who better understood what she was going through (and so he could catch the big game on Sunday). 

This group, originally named “The Scoliosis Club,” decided to change their name to be more empowering for its members. In ‘73 they became “The Twisted Sisters,” but this name quickly brought forth controversy and a surge of fans of the ‘70s rock band. So, in ‘85, after much discussion from the board members, they finally decided on a name that would stick: “The Slant.” 

One can then imagine the shock that went through president Sally “Spinesy” Williams’ (who boasts an impressive 47-degree curve) mind when she noticed an article titled “Masochist Stem Major Orgasms During Midterm” pop up on her feed. Williams caught a glimpse of the name of the account that posted this headline and a shock went down her S-curve spine. Shaking with rage, she clenched her phone like a vise, her knuckles white. The account had stolen her club’s name: The Slant.

Williams did the only sensible thing she could do in this situation: contact her lawyer. Her attorney, Dizzardson “Diz” Able, told Williams that she had grounds to sue the Vanderbilt satire organization, The Slant, for using their scoliosis club’s copyrighted name. She took the case to court and began a protracted battle against the odious Slant. 

However, after a six-month long courtroom struggle, the case is rumored to have been dismissed after Williams suffered a brutal fall down a lighthouse staircase, which shockingly straightened her spine completely, leaving the board no choice but to remove her position as the president of “The Slant.”  Sam Sliman, the satire Editor-in-Chief, has gone on record saying “looks like the issue has straightened itself out.”