A Guide to Dropping Classes

As the semester begins, and add/drop quickly comes to an end, you may be wondering, “How can I do the least amount of work and still find time to cheat effectively this semester?” Well, you are in luck. Although school can suck a lot, the right classes (or lack thereof) can make college a great time. The following is a step by step guide to which classes have to go by September 4th.

You should drop a class if:

1. The class has a syllabus

Off the bat, this is a big red flag. Not only does it mean the class has substantial work for you to do, but the professor put time and effort into planning the semester as well. You are gonna wanna steer clear of that kind of commitment.

2. The professor uses his/her last name

Woah, back off there Mr. Professional! I don’t need all this formal information. I’m just looking for that 30 something year old who doesn’t wear shoes and tells you to just call him Jax or some shit.

3. There’s a “no food in class” policy

Oh, so you’re saying I can’t scarf down a McGriddle during your 9am death by Powerpoint. I don’t stand for that kind of tyranny.  

4. The professor is a doctor

Dr. stands for “doesn’t realize” you have no idea what he’s talking about because he went to school for way too long. Stay away from that.

5. There’s a TA

If your professor can’t handle the material on his own and needs an assistant, I think it’s going to be too difficult for you.

6. The class counts toward your major

Sounds like a lot of work.

7. The class doesn’t count toward your major

Why would you be enrolled in something that doesn’t count toward your major? That’s just extra work, you idiot.

8. If someone sits in the seat that you rightly claimed on the first day

That’s a psychopath level of confidence and aggression. I’m not gonna get myself in a feud with that kind of animal, but there’s no way I’m backing out of my god given chair. The only logical thing to do is to never come back.

9. There’s math, reading, or writing 

You had me at math.