Ways I’ve Got That Dog in Me

By M-Dawg

1. I bark often.
2. I have a giant tail.
3. I’m always digging.
4. I piss on things to mark my territory.
5. I wear a shock collar.
6. Rabies.
7. I really fucking love peanut butter.
8. I cry when someone clips my nails.
9. I catch balls in my mouth.
10. I have to wear an anxiety vest for thunder.
11. Neutered at two.
12. I’m not allowed on the bed.
13. I beg for food (I’m not on the meal plan).
14. I don’t see color.
15. I don’t understand daylight savings.
16. I bit a kid.
17. I get put in a cage when I’m bad.
18. I can’t stand the mailman.
19. The doctors have to hold me down for shots.
20. I wrap my antidepressant in cheese so I don’t know it’s there.
21. I say “hello” by putting my face in some ass.
22. Strangers often stroke my hair.
23. My whole ass starts shaking when you call me “good girl.”
24. I come on command.
25. I broke my leg and they put me down.