Trust Me — I Know A Ton of Brothers

Hey! My man! what’s going on? Party looks pretty lit! You, uh, think you could possibly let ya boi in?  That would be, just, beyond dope.

Oh? What brothers do I know? A bunch, for sure!  Yep, I know lots of those.

For one, my best friend in 1st grade was black. We did damn near everything together, from kickball to, uh, all the other playground shit. Pretty sure he moved away the next year, but some bonds don’t know the bounds of space and time, y’know? That one definitely counts.

Also, there are, like, two black guys in my chemistry discussion session. We don’t really talk individually, but the three of us definitely have a good rapport as part of the larger group. Lots of common interests between us — chemicals and the sort, y’know.

There’s also that Munchie Mart cashier that checks me out whenever I get a midnight swipe. Very cool guy — never super enthusiastic, but pretty good at his job. Even though he never reciprocates my fist-bumps, I just know he really appreciates that kind of a nice gesture. He usually tells me to “have a good one,” which I call a win.

And after watching him dominate the court every game during the season, I definitely feel like I know Lebron James. I’m a huge Cavs fan. If it’s true what they say, that you are what you do, then I definitely know who Lebron is — a hella good basketball man.

My sister went on a mission trip to Kenya, so I have some experience with the people of the homeland by proxy. I heard a lot about it. My sister — she’s, like, a really vivid storyteller. She took a bunch of pictures with kids over there as well, so I got some exposure that way, too.

Uhh, well, that’s about all I can think of right now. You want me to start listing the sisters I know, or…?

What? You meant brothers, as in the fraternity? Like, fraternity brothers?

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Okay. Well, I know Chad, Jake, Jack, Ryan, Matt, Mark, other Ryan, Jacob, David, Zack, other other Ryan, and, uh, Rob? Rob’s a member here, right? Ok, cool.

Aight! Thanks, dawg. Catch ya later!