The LAZY writers at failing #TIME Magazine called me on their GREEN telephone and asked me to be their Person of the Year but said I would need to do a photoshoot at their headquarters, so I said no and thanks anyway and that actually I really just would like a baby. (1/9)I would just like a BEAUTIFUL baby with CHUBBY cheeks that I can take care of and #BREASTfeed. Everybody is … [Read more...] about TIME Wanted Me to Be Their Person of the Year, but I Just Want a Baby: A Series of Tweets by Donald Trump
Согласно всем известным законам авиации, пчела не может летать. Его крылья слишком малы, чтобы вытащить свое жирное маленькое тело с земли. Пчела, конечно же, летает, потому что пчелам все равно, что думают люди, невозможно. Желтый, черный. Желтый, черный. Желтый, черный. Желтый, черный. Ох, черный и желтый! Давайте немного встряхнем его. Барри! Завтрак готов! Ooming! Подожди … [Read more...] about Breaking: President Trump Releases Special Report about Russia
The Trump administration recently announced several additions to the controversial travel ban. With this news come concerns about the ramifications for white, upper- and middle-class males between the ages of 18 and 22.The decision to add Chad to President Trump’s travel ban has raised eyebrows, but The Slant was able to gather additional information from an anonymous source on … [Read more...] about Travel Ban to Keep Chad Inside U.S.
The NFL kneeling controversy has only grown in the past month as players protest by kneeling during the anthem. Many across the country, including President Trump, have called this protest anti-American. “America is great because we stand for those defending our country,” said Dick Erekht, standing expert, “But there are those who defile this great nation by … [Read more...] about Following NFL Kneeling Incidents, Wheelchair Community Criticized for Being Un-American
Washington D.C.--Amid turmoil in the Trump administration, The White House announced today that newly appointed Communications Director Anthony ‘The Mooch’ Scaramucci has been removed from his position for stealing one too many of the President’s french fries.Scaramucci seemed to be fitting in perfectly with the Trump administration. Recently, he threatened to tell the entire … [Read more...] about Anthony ‘The Mooch’ Scaramucci Fired After Stealing One Too Many Fries