By Kyle Bettencourt, Vice President of Kappa Epsilon Gamma (KEG) I’m gearing up for my third winter in Tennessee and, to be honest, it hasn’t gotten any easier since freshman year. I’m from Orange County, California; I just don’t really do cold like that. “Oh, the weather outside is frightful…”...
By O. Blivious Are you chronically single? Have you never felt the warm embrace of a woman? Well, just like you sorry losers, I used to lay in my bed every night and cry myself to sleep wondering if I’d ever reach the peak of my existence and get a...
By Edgar Allan Poe The thousand injuries of Fortunato I had borne as I best could, but when he ventured upon insult I vowed revenge. You, who so well know the nature of my soul, will not suppose, however, that I gave utterance to a threat. At length I would be avenged;...
By Elliot Boualaphanh In a shocking move, the Office of Experiential Learning and Immersion Vanderbilt has recently granted Asian Studies major Seth Niklover permission to use his Chinese girlfriend, Mei Ling, as the subject of his immersion project. This move has left many stunned, wondering if the Immersion Office is...
The Lorax this, the Lorax that. When are we going to talk about Dr. Seus’s greatest, hottest, most beastiality-inducing creation: The Cat In The Hat, a 2003 film and cinematic masterpiece? I’m tired of hearing about how “everybody needs a thneed” — who’s “everybody”? I reject this capitalistic agenda. I...
