By Kyle Kowalski The recent campus eviction has left many Vanderbilt students confused. However, the administration is now “asking” students to return to Vanderbilt, as the coronavirus is feeling rather lonely on campus. Its only friends remain at the Wesley apartments where it resides often. Mr. COVID-19 described his March visit as friendly and welcoming. “I’ve never … [Read more...] about Vanderbilt to Require Students to Return to Campus because Coronavirus Feels “Lonely”
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New Residential Colleges to Not Have Full Kitchen, HVAC
By A Student Who Fears Not Getting Good Housing for Publishing This Along with the announcement regarding the new name for Residential College A, Vanderbilt University has announced that future residential colleges will be constructed without functioning HVAC systems. “We’re excited for this change,” said an administrator in the FutureVU office. “We believe that not … [Read more...] about New Residential Colleges to Not Have Full Kitchen, HVAC
Report: Girl on Phone Waiting to Start Work Any Day Now
According to anxious watchers, freshman Jane Smith has been typing away on her phone in Sutherland House’s fifth floor common room for six hours and counting. When asked about how long she thought the phone break would last, she replied that she “probably wouldn’t take that long.” “Yeah, all I need to do is start working on my paper that’s due tomorrow --don’t worry … [Read more...] about Report: Girl on Phone Waiting to Start Work Any Day Now
VUPD: Where they at?
While campus assaults are now as common as squirrels and bad grades, I'm starting to wonder if VUPD actually exists. VUPD is the second largest police force in Tennessee-- there are probably more Vandy police officers than there are people passed out near Rahna's on a Thursday night-- but after all these incidents, I just wanna know: where they at?? So I took this matter … [Read more...] about VUPD: Where they at?
Fall Break Just Ended, But I Still Want to Die
Photo by the Vanderbilt Hustler Multimedia team The start of fall break: a glorious time when everyone says “I’m going to get so ahead on all my work!” and then ends up watching a vegan chili recipe video on repeat for 13 straight hours - they’re mesmerizing, trust me. Many Vanderbilt students went home during break, but for those of us whose parents don’t love them, we … [Read more...] about Fall Break Just Ended, But I Still Want to Die