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The Slant

Vanderbilt's Satirical Newspaper - Est. 1886

HUMOR AND SATIRE

Op-Ed

OPINION: Your Liberation Will Only Come From Steaming Hot Takes

November 10, 2020 by Slant Staff

The nation’s most salient young voices have taken to the opinion pages of our most precious institutions—online-only college newspapers—to urge us that voting will not make the difference. They are right. The only thing that can save us from the specter of oppression is pumping out as many provocative hot takes as possible from the comfort of our dorm rooms. Protesting isn’t … [Read more...] about OPINION: Your Liberation Will Only Come From Steaming Hot Takes

Letter From The Editor: My Presidential Endorsement

November 3, 2020 by Madison Hitchcock: Recruitment Chair

By Madison Hitchcock, Estelle Shaya and Zak Stengel Dear Slant Readership,  In the 134 year history of our publication, no Editor-in-Chief has ever publicly endorsed a presidential nominee. The one exception was in 1964 when the Editor at the time made the unprecedented decision to back Lee Harvey Oswald as a write-in option, a move which led to an FBI investigation … [Read more...] about Letter From The Editor: My Presidential Endorsement

STAFF EDITORIAL: Don’t Abolish Towers. Let Us Reform It.

September 30, 2020 by Justine Del Monte

By Miles Borowsky and Justine Del Monte In 2019, Vanderbilt shocked students and faculty with the announcement of a plan to abolish Carmichael Towers. This was met with immediate support by many who believed that the social climate had progressed past the need for such an institution.  One of the biggest problems with Towers, as identified in a July 32 Hustler guest … [Read more...] about STAFF EDITORIAL: Don’t Abolish Towers. Let Us Reform It.

A Selection of Hate Mail I’ve Written to that Rat-Fuck Charles Entertainment Cheese

March 25, 2020 by Chris Loveland

Ever since I was little I’ve cared about two things. The first: my loving parents. The second: that rat-fuck who goes by the name Chuck E. Cheese.  I remember the moment my life changed forever. I was seven, it was my birthday, and I was spending it at Charles’ humble abode. Everything was going swimmingly—I was rolling through games and I had even managed to kick open … [Read more...] about A Selection of Hate Mail I’ve Written to that Rat-Fuck Charles Entertainment Cheese

Commentary: Where is this White Van Taking Me?

January 14, 2020 by Keeley Parker

It’s really in moments like this that I remember how lucky I am to be a woman. Being a woman can be quite frightening at times, but I often think that opinions like that really just attack men. You agree, right? I find that the wonders of womanhood grant me quite a few opportunities that poor, oppressed men just don’t get. For instance, just this evening, I was invited to go … [Read more...] about Commentary: Where is this White Van Taking Me?

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A time honored Vanderbilt tradition By Estelle Sh A time honored Vanderbilt tradition

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Drop your best 2026 admissions stats in the commen Drop your best 2026 admissions stats in the comments
@quinnxcii We’ll back off in exchange for three @quinnxcii We’ll back off in exchange for three (3) VIP Coachella tickets
Apparently next Oscars will feature Guillermo Del Apparently next Oscars will feature Guillermo Del Toro and Timothee Chalamet wrestling in a kiddie pool full of Jello

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Stay tuned for more Vandy logo slander Stay tuned for more Vandy logo slander
You can’t fix your bracket, but you can still fi You can’t fix your bracket, but you can still fix your mental health.

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Very Important! Please read By Damian Ho Very Important! Please read

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Wow! This is so inspiring! Wow! This is so inspiring!
It’s not his fault that fossil fuels are much mo It’s not his fault that fossil fuels are much more profitable than universities

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EVERYTHING IS FINE. THERE IS NO REASON TO BE CONCE EVERYTHING IS FINE. THERE IS NO REASON TO BE CONCERNED.
Victim of financial aid collusion? You may be enti Victim of financial aid collusion? You may be entitled to one free meal swipe

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