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NASHVILLE, TN—In an unprecedented political move last evening, Joe Biden and Chancellor Nicholas Zeppos of Vanderbilt University announced that they had reached an agreement to allow Clarence Thomas to respond to Anita Hill’s address on Sunday. Though Biden and Vanderbilt originally planned to allow Hill to speak for a brief...

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  • October 30, 2018

For years the FDA has advised caution towards trick-or-treaters due to the possibility of razor blades hidden in unwrapped candy; however, this year they shockingly released the stipulation that one in every five pieces of halloween candy will indeed be a loaded gun. Upon releasing this announcement, parents across the...

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  • October 30, 2018

VANDERBILT UNIVERSITY, COMMONS – Friday night, a group of freshmen walked into their Commons dorm to find the security guard alert and sober.  The guard, who was sitting upright and fully awake at his post, was reportedly competent and attentive. A spokesperson for Allied Barton has since commended the heroic...

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  • October 11, 2018