Last week I woke up next to a frat guy. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for AGL, but he was super hot (a Vandy nine, so an actual four). You can call me a hypocrite or whatever, but it was worth it—until I started feeling a little tickly down there. Nothing was harder than sitting in my one in-person class of the week trying not to scratch the fuck out of my cooter, so I just … [Read more...] about Help! I Went to Student Health for Crabs and They Prescribed Me Tartar Sauce
Ah, spring. It’s that time of the year when the flowers start to bloom, the pollen count starts to rise and Boy Scouts start zipping off their cargo pants into cargo shorts. But as the days get longer, the amount of days you have to raise your grades gets shorter. We’re in the final stretch here, and some of us are just stretched a little too thin. So, here are some early … [Read more...] about Early Warning Signs of an Impending Mental Breakdown
You’ve heard of the shitshow that was Datamatch and Marriage Pact. You’re sick and tired of traditional dating apps and want a real chance at love, based on algorithms, science and logic. The Slant has you covered. Welcome to: Yeah Ok Sure I Guess. Read on to get a taste of the last few questions you’ll ever have to ask to find love, written by single people, for single … [Read more...] about The Slant’s New Matchmaking Service: Yeah Ok Sure I Guess
Thats right love, you made one snarky comment to many. The “look up the definition of ‘ontological’ before you try to use it in an article you dumb idiot” comment on my last Slant piece means war, even if it was a sad nerdy attempt at copy editor humor. No, your the idiot for starting this fight. Copy edit this, bitch. Who; ever; told; you; you; could; delete; my; … [Read more...] about A Copy Editors Paredise
So imagine this: you’re a silly young Slant writer with tastes more expensive than a college student’s budget allows for and you’re watching iCarly on a borrowed Netflix account (remember, you are poor) with a belly full of $14.20 worth of poke when you realize you’ve got an article due in 64 minutes. I’m sure you’re thinking, “Hey! Those Slant writers’ brains are as juicy and … [Read more...] about I Spent $134.40 at Bowl Based Restaurants This Semester. Here Are My Recommendations.