By Bonnie Bu My boyfriend, the great Keith Footprint, really wants the best for our world. He truly does. He volunteers to pick up waste in the waterways on Wednesdays. He even publicly denounces high-wealth individuals with substantial investments in oil. He’s taught me to curse those power-hungry, shale-loving tyrants...
By O. Blivious Are you chronically single? Have you never felt the warm embrace of a woman? Well, just like you sorry losers, I used to lay in my bed every night and cry myself to sleep wondering if I’d ever reach the peak of my existence and get a...
By M-Dawg
By Jeff Malarky Like most people, I look forward to Thanksgiving. Time away from school, dry turkey and a chance to interact with racist family members I haven’t seen since last Thanksgiving —what’s not to love? Well, I’ll tell you what I don’t love: how we all go around and...
By Gus T. Wynd Here at The Slant, we care about your well-being. Now, we don’t have the staff or desire to do that Monday meditation with you, but we’ve got some tips to get you through the holiday season. I mean, I can already feel the cold, frigid air...
