First thing's first, what the hell is gluten? Right now the only knowledge I have is that gluten is basically the source of all evil -- it's "literally the worst" and "you could literally die from gluten" but I'm just literally confused on what gluten is. Kourtney Kardashian's diet, consisting of gluten-free pretzels and non-GMO milk, makes me want to shove my face in a … [Read more...] about Why Do White People Hate Gluten? And Black People?
Life
Most of my articles are awful, thank God this isn’t one of them
I know exactly what you’re thinking: "What the fuck did I do to earn another fucking article from this human wooden dildo (the least practical of all dildos).” And I know that most of my articles are really, really bad, but you guys are in luck because this is not one of those articles. I mean sure this article isn’t great, but it's certainly tolerable. And I think it's … [Read more...] about Most of my articles are awful, thank God this isn’t one of them
Ring by Spring: A Guide to Marrying Rich
If you are anything like me, you came to Vanderbilt for a very specific reason. Sure, it’s a top-ranked university with a great premed program and some of the happiest students in the country, but it has something else, too. That’s right, this school has some rich boys. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m all for this “feminist” stuff going around, but I’ve also weighed my options and … [Read more...] about Ring by Spring: A Guide to Marrying Rich
Loaves of Bread: The Best Thing Since Sliced Bread
A fresh loaf of bread - wow, yummy! In the past month, hundreds of farm-to-table restaurants have adopted the new trend of serving whole loaves of bread rather than slices. These restaurants intend to challenge the consumer to interact with the loaf, to truly take on the mentality: “Let’s get this bread." Some restaurants even require that customers finish the entire loaf … [Read more...] about Loaves of Bread: The Best Thing Since Sliced Bread
My boyfriend didn’t know girls had urethras, so I peed on him during sex as a teaching moment
It was a Friday night. My boyfriend and I had just finished a bottle of rosé and an especially stimulating episode of Diners, Drive Ins, and Dives, and were feeling snacky (the perfect mixture of hungry and horny). So, naturally, he suggested that he eat me out. “One sec, I gotta pee first,” I said, as he began shimmying his way downstairs. “Ew, I don’t wanna get my … [Read more...] about My boyfriend didn’t know girls had urethras, so I peed on him during sex as a teaching moment