By Kyle Kowalski I’m guilty. I spammed your instagram feed with countless posts about Dance Marathon. I had special prizes for every milestone reached. Raise $100? I’ll rub barbecue sauce all over my bare chest in front of a tour group (let them know what Commons food tastes like). Raise $200? I’ll ask out the Commons Cashier, although I’ll probably do this regardless. And … [Read more...] about Oops, I spent all your Dance Marathon donations on Premium snapchats
By Anonymous Recent research by faculty and graduate students from the Vanderbilt Anthropology department indicates that your incredible fashion, taste in music, and your authentic personality set you apart from all of those other girls. After sampling hundreds from the female population at Vanderbilt, the study, which aimed to expose your originality and uniqueness, … [Read more...] about Vanderbilt Study Suggests You’re, “Not Like Other Girls”
By Keeley Parker It’s really in moments like this that I remember how lucky I am to be a woman. Being a woman can be quite frightening at times, but I often think that opinions like that really just attack men. You agree, right? I find that the wonders of womanhood grant me quite a few opportunities that poor, oppressed men just don’t get. For instance, just this … [Read more...] about Commentary: Where is this White Van Taking Me?
By Rachel Haselkorn Thanksgiving season is a wonderful time of year. The weather is nice, everything is great and everyone is happy. And then, you hear it: “I still would like to see Barack Obama’s birth certificate.” Your neo-nazi grandpa, who just won’t seem to die, has returned to irritate everyone and be a public nuisance at yet another family … [Read more...] about Top 5 Ways to Infuriate Your Boomer Relatives at Thanksgiving Dinner
By Amy Rieth The low hum of a scooter engine gets louder and louder, a sound that almost outweighs the sound of your heart beating in your ears. A bead of sweat inches down your neck and your hands start to shake. You slowly turn your head, preparing yourself for a sight you’ve seen a thousand times. Mere inches from your face, you’re confronted with the lifeless, … [Read more...] about Which Makes You A Bigger Asshole: Screaming “On Your Left” While Scootering Past Someone, Or Saying Nothing At All?