By Julia Schmitt As my honor code signature eerily lingers on campus—along with the Listerine cap freshman me shamelessly took shots from—I feel compelled to honesty. I want to fucking drop kick my cat. He shall remain nameless because I am an ~intentional woman who lights up every room I walk into~, but I’m pretty sure he invented ask.fm, the Electoral College and Derby … [Read more...] about Five Tactics to Put Your Bastard House Cat in His Place
Life
Why I’m Getting Married at Dave & Buster’s
$5 margaritas, Big Bass Pro lottery wheels and enough fiat money to make our American dollar feel obsolete. In essence, Dave & Buster’s is a late-stage capitalist’s paradise. Maybe my strange obsession with game plazas started with my continual exposure to Chuck E. Cheese and its trademark E. coli. The vicious battle between inhaling $20 subpar pizza and my lactose … [Read more...] about Why I’m Getting Married at Dave & Buster’s
Giving Back: Outdoor Voices Encourages a Generation of Upper Class Females to “Do Things”
By Julia Schmitt Whether you believe 2021 is the end of the world or not (though it would be the most precedented outcome of these unprecedented times), the recent winds of advocacy, self-reflection and social action have been objectively refreshing and hopeful. The question remains: how did we get here? What magnanimous driving force could have possibly ignited such a … [Read more...] about Giving Back: Outdoor Voices Encourages a Generation of Upper Class Females to “Do Things”
Nine Festive Fall Ways to Make Ben Shapiro’s Life In Nashville a Living Hell
You’re going about your day. You’re walking through campus, admiring the gorgeous fall leaves. Maybe you take a picture and upload it to your Instagram story. It’s fall y’all! And you’re happy. Until you remember that twerpy-man-child-with-the-doctor-wife Ben Shapiro announced he’s moving to Nashville and bringing his whole Daily Wire crew with him. He’s probably here by … [Read more...] about Nine Festive Fall Ways to Make Ben Shapiro’s Life In Nashville a Living Hell
Backup Halloween Costume Ideas for When Your Current Costume Idea is Racist
It’s a terrible feeling: you come up with the most fun, creative, silly and topical Halloween costume idea only to have some stupid liberal snowflake tell you that it’s racist. “It’s not okay to dress up as a cop right now,” they whine. “Take off that turban, you idiot. It’s fucked up to dress as Bin Laden,” they complain, but deep down you know that they’re just jealous of … [Read more...] about Backup Halloween Costume Ideas for When Your Current Costume Idea is Racist