The Slant

Vanderbilt's Satirical Newspaper - Est. 1886

HUMOR AND SATIRE

Slant Rhyme

The Nightmare Before Registration

by

'Twas the night before registration, and all through the campus not a soul was stirring, not even Allied Barton. Alarms were set by bedsides with care, in hopes that the green circles would still be there. The students were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of 11 a.m.s danced in their heads; and my roommate in her nightgown, and I in mine too, had just settled our … [Read more...] about The Nightmare Before Registration

A Hard Shell

by

A Hard ShellI sometimes wonder what it would be like to liveWhere I could have a shell to protect my feelings;And a soft underbelly for vulnerability;And feet to be able to swim;And wrinkly skin;And strange reptilian eyes;But instead, that role is stolen from me. Fuckin’ turtles.  A Hard Shell, ContinuedI sometimes wonder what it would be like to liveWhere I could stand … [Read more...] about A Hard Shell

A New Planet

by

Its orbit elliptical, Its surface red and bright; The volcano on its surface spews a liquid white - A mountain is falling apart and being made new, on your face.  The planet rarely strays from its roots: Deep hairy follicles infected, Oozing with new matter To make this planet, on your face. Perhaps one day human society Will … [Read more...] about A New Planet