Welcome, children of the universe! We’ve done some careful observation of the stars and determined the forecast for your spring semester.Aquarius (January 20 to February 18)Uranus is moving from Aries into Taurus, which means a time of great changes is approaching. Definitely buy more underwear.Pisces (February 19 to March 20)Neptune, your planet, remains in Pisces – … [Read more...] about Second Semester Horoscopes
Horoscopes
Horoscope for 4/20
Aries: Get stoned as fuck and dig through the trash for an hour. There’s gotta be something good there.Taurus: Get stoned as fuck and find the longest stick in the woods. Venus is currently in your fifth house of discovery, so you’ll probably find a bag of weed at some point, too.Gemini: Get stoned as fuck. Look at the top of this page, look at the bottom left corner, now turn … [Read more...] about Horoscope for 4/20
Your Homecoming Tailgate Experience Based on Your Horoscope
It’s homecoming weekend. Alumni are back on campus, ready to relive their glory days, freshmen are waking up with the realization that they hooked up with an ugly 24 year old last night, and Vanderbilt Football is getting hyped up for a game we hopefully won’t lose. But what’s in store this weekend for you? The Slant consulted our horoscope guru to find out. (We still don’t … [Read more...] about Your Homecoming Tailgate Experience Based on Your Horoscope
Your UF Tailgate Experience According to Your Horoscope
The astrological forces have been waiting for this day, and it’s now less than 24 hours away. The UF tailgate is a highly anticipated cosmic event, so it’s best to stay informed. The Slant checked in with our Horoscope Guru to get the scoop on what’ll go down. Editor’s note: A new star sign has been discovered, but as Ophiuchus is the Hufflepuff of the star signs, we don’t … [Read more...] about Your UF Tailgate Experience According to Your Horoscope
Horoscopes
ARIES (3/21 - 4/19) Look behind you. There’s nothing there. There’s nothing anywhere. How did you get all the way out here all by yourself?TAURUS (4/20 - 5/20) There is something in your future. Good? Bad? I don’t know, I wasn’t paying attention. Yeah, well are you looking at me for? It gets boring up here in space. A guy’s not allowed to zone out once or twice in an eon? … [Read more...] about Horoscopes