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The Slant

Vanderbilt's Satirical Newspaper - Est. 1886

HUMOR AND SATIRE

Bout Balls

OGL Kicks off SEC After Mistaking It for New Fraternity

February 25, 2020 by Kyle Kowalski

The Vanderbilt Men’s Basketball season came to an unanticipated close last week after a sudden decision by the Office of Greek Life. In a confusing mix-up with Vanderbilt athletics, OGL decided to kick off the SEC because it “sounded like a fraternity we don’t want on campus," according to the benevolent ruler of Greek Life.  “This has been a long time coming,” says … [Read more...] about OGL Kicks off SEC After Mistaking It for New Fraternity

LEAKED: 10 Commons Ball Themes That Didn’t Make the Cut

February 7, 2020 by Taylor Lomax

Every year, the Commons House Presidents hold a secretive gathering where they deliberate on themes for the yearly Commons Ball. (This year, the theme is First Contact because why not aliens.) As the most anticipated event of the year, Commons Ball preparation meetings tend to be top-secret. But this year, one of our sources gave us some inside info on some themes that didn’t … [Read more...] about LEAKED: 10 Commons Ball Themes That Didn’t Make the Cut

Throwback to the Time Mr. C Punched a Kid in the Face

May 2, 2019 by Jacob Feldstein

It was 2011; a simpler time in society. Back then, we didn’t know that punching students in the face was wrong. We just did it and didn’t think twice. Well, that all changed on the night of February 24th, when Mr. Commodore whacked this kid right in the fucking nose. Take a look. So a couple of things I noticed: 1 - What is up with the sound? It's like the generic … [Read more...] about Throwback to the Time Mr. C Punched a Kid in the Face

#Tank4Zion

February 13, 2019 by Jacob Feldstein Leave a Comment

What was supposed to be an exciting and successful year has become one of the ugliest displays of basketball in Vanderbilt history. 11 straight losses, 0-10 in conference play, just 9 wins on the season, one 5 star recruit lost to injury, a different underperforming 5 star recruit, and a partridge in a pear tree. It feels like rock bottom, but I’m here to tell you that there’s … [Read more...] about #Tank4Zion

How A Vandy Student/Yankee Fan Should Cope With David Price Winning the World Series

October 30, 2018 by Jacob Feldstein Leave a Comment

I know this article is very niche and won’t pertain to many of you, but I am going to talk to a very small, underrepresented demographic on campus: the New York based Vanderbilt students. These are tough times we’re living in. The Red Sox won the World Series, the city of Boston is having another parade, and I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. On the other hand, … [Read more...] about How A Vandy Student/Yankee Fan Should Cope With David Price Winning the World Series

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Ancestry.com is about to have a field day. By Sam Ancestry.com is about to have a field day.

By Sam Sliman
Now THAT’s what we call a homecoming. By Kyle K Now THAT’s what we call a homecoming.

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See you in Utah! By Kyle Kowalski See you in Utah!

By Kyle Kowalski
We can’t argue with that logic. By James Blair We can’t argue with that logic. 

By James Blair
Lee Harvey Oswald is shaking. By Madison Hitchcoc Lee Harvey Oswald is shaking.

By Madison Hitchcock
Some call him the Punxsutawney Phil of the South. Some call him the Punxsutawney Phil of the South. 

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You know we’re right By Justine Del Monte You know we’re right 

By Justine Del Monte
Handsome Ron really seems to know what he’s doin Handsome Ron really seems to know what he’s doing.
Still waiting to hear Biden’s plan for the Kappa Still waiting to hear Biden’s plan for the Kappa babies. 

By Ben Donohoe
Where does that saliva come from? Slant’s invest Where does that saliva come from? Slant’s investigative journalists are on the hunt to find out. Send tips to (844) 814-5935.

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Damn, we really thought we’d be able to take a h Damn, we really thought we’d be able to take a hiatus. 

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