As the school year draws to a close, many of you will be too consumed with your "summer internships" to keep up with our excellent reporting. That’s no big deal—here are a few of our (highly accurate) predictions about what’s going to happen this summer in the world of celebrity gossip. AkPsi Alum goes down for insider trading The sky is blue, isn’t it? I feel like … [Read more...] about The Slant’s Summer 2021 Celebrity Predictions
Features
IN PHOTOS: Slant Pets 2021
Recently, The Hustler posted an article showcasing the pets of their staff writers. While The Slant is not a political paper and traditionally does not take a side, our entire staff agrees that every single one of these creatures should be the first in line to be euthanized. Their pets can stay, though. In the spirit of being better than The Hustler, The Slant has … [Read more...] about IN PHOTOS: Slant Pets 2021
If You Order Another Caprese, I Swear I’m Going to Lose My Shit
By Anonymous Dear valued Greens* customer, Having noted your regular presence at our cafe, we write to you to address some behaviors we find concerning. On Monday, January 22nd, you entered our establishment at 8:56 pm. Although both our front and kitchen staff were clearly in the process of trying to leave so they could enjoy the rest of their nights, you took … [Read more...] about If You Order Another Caprese, I Swear I’m Going to Lose My Shit
OGL Kicks off SEC After Mistaking It for New Fraternity
The Vanderbilt Men’s Basketball season came to an unanticipated close last week after a sudden decision by the Office of Greek Life. In a confusing mix-up with Vanderbilt athletics, OGL decided to kick off the SEC because it “sounded like a fraternity we don’t want on campus," according to the benevolent ruler of Greek Life. “This has been a long time coming,” says … [Read more...] about OGL Kicks off SEC After Mistaking It for New Fraternity
LEAKED: 10 Commons Ball Themes That Didn’t Make the Cut
Every year, the Commons House Presidents hold a secretive gathering where they deliberate on themes for the yearly Commons Ball. (This year, the theme is First Contact because why not aliens.) As the most anticipated event of the year, Commons Ball preparation meetings tend to be top-secret. But this year, one of our sources gave us some inside info on some themes that didn’t … [Read more...] about LEAKED: 10 Commons Ball Themes That Didn’t Make the Cut