It was a Friday night. My boyfriend and I had just finished a bottle of rosé and an especially stimulating episode of Diners, Drive Ins, and Dives, and were feeling snacky (the perfect mixture of hungry and horny). So, naturally, he suggested that he eat me out. “One sec, I gotta pee first,” I said, as he began shimmying his way downstairs. “Ew, I don’t wanna get my … [Read more...] about My boyfriend didn’t know girls had urethras, so I peed on him during sex as a teaching moment
Features
10 Facts About Vanderbilt that the Tour Guides Don’t Want You to Know
(Photo by Claire Barnett) 1. There’s a guy inside of Mr. C. It’s true! Inside our beloved mascot is just a dude who controls the body. Presumably he’s a student or someone else affiliated with Vandy. Maybe he’s just some random guy. Who knows? 2. We don’t actually have that many squirrels; it’s just three or four of them that are really fast. I thought we had … [Read more...] about 10 Facts About Vanderbilt that the Tour Guides Don’t Want You to Know
Scissors: We will never know how they work, but thank the lord they do
A wild pair of scissors I had a piece of paper. I needed to cut it in two. I know what you’re thinking, civilization simply hasn’t created technology sophisticated enough to handle this problem. Sure, we have virtual reality porn; however, as a society, we have to create our technologies with some priorities. But how in the hell am I supposed to slice a piece of tree bologna … [Read more...] about Scissors: We will never know how they work, but thank the lord they do
How A Vandy Student/Yankee Fan Should Cope With David Price Winning the World Series
I know this article is very niche and won’t pertain to many of you, but I am going to talk to a very small, underrepresented demographic on campus: the New York based Vanderbilt students. These are tough times we’re living in. The Red Sox won the World Series, the city of Boston is having another parade, and I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. On the other hand, … [Read more...] about How A Vandy Student/Yankee Fan Should Cope With David Price Winning the World Series
Top 10 Spoooookiest Halloween Costumes
Pumpkin Well shove a pumpkin up my ass and call me spooky, it's October! Here are ten Slant-approved costumes to try out this year for the greatest holiday on earth: Halloween! A Sexy Commodore Photo by Claire Barnett Show your Vandy pride by going as our very own mascot, Mr. Commodore. While his muscular thighs and perfect quiff are no doubt beautiful, we recommend … [Read more...] about Top 10 Spoooookiest Halloween Costumes