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The Slant

Vanderbilt's Satirical Newspaper - Est. 1886

HUMOR AND SATIRE

Features

Vanderbilt Fails to Pay Their Dining Staff Sufficient Wages, But It’s Okay Because There’s a Giant Sriracha Bottle in Commons

March 1, 2022 by Slant Staff

By: Danielle Bernstein Who isn’t completely overjoyed walking into Commons on a Thursday night? I know I am. The harsh fluorescent lighting, the overall dissatisfaction regarding the food… It's Disneyland on our little college campus. Last Thursday night, there was something extra special in the Commons air. As I waited in line for something that almost resembled beef, I … [Read more...] about Vanderbilt Fails to Pay Their Dining Staff Sufficient Wages, But It’s Okay Because There’s a Giant Sriracha Bottle in Commons

QUIZ: Can You Tell Which Of These Headlines Were Written By An AI?

November 8, 2021 by Sam Sliman: Social Media Chair

… [Read more...] about QUIZ: Can You Tell Which Of These Headlines Were Written By An AI?

The Slant’s Summer 2021 Celebrity Predictions

April 28, 2021 by Keeley Parker

As the school year draws to a close, many of you will be too consumed with your "summer internships" to keep up with our excellent reporting. That’s no big deal—here are a few of our (highly accurate) predictions about what’s going to happen this summer in the world of celebrity gossip. AkPsi Alum goes down for insider trading  The sky is blue, isn’t it? I feel like … [Read more...] about The Slant’s Summer 2021 Celebrity Predictions

IN PHOTOS: Slant Pets 2021

April 27, 2021 by Madison Hitchcock: Recruitment Chair

Recently, The Hustler posted an article showcasing the pets of their staff writers. While The Slant is not a political paper and traditionally does not take a side, our entire staff agrees that every single one of these creatures should be the first in line to be euthanized. Their pets can stay, though.  In the spirit of being better than The Hustler, The Slant has … [Read more...] about IN PHOTOS: Slant Pets 2021

If You Order Another Caprese, I Swear I’m Going to Lose My Shit

March 9, 2020 by Slant Staff

By Anonymous Dear valued Greens* customer, Having noted your regular presence at our cafe, we write to you to address some behaviors we find concerning.  On Monday, January 22nd, you entered our establishment at 8:56 pm. Although both our front and kitchen staff were clearly in the process of trying to leave so they could enjoy the rest of their nights, you took … [Read more...] about If You Order Another Caprese, I Swear I’m Going to Lose My Shit

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A time honored Vanderbilt tradition By Estelle Sh A time honored Vanderbilt tradition

By Estelle Shaya
Drop your best 2026 admissions stats in the commen Drop your best 2026 admissions stats in the comments
@quinnxcii We’ll back off in exchange for three @quinnxcii We’ll back off in exchange for three (3) VIP Coachella tickets
Apparently next Oscars will feature Guillermo Del Apparently next Oscars will feature Guillermo Del Toro and Timothee Chalamet wrestling in a kiddie pool full of Jello

By Sam Sliman
Stay tuned for more Vandy logo slander Stay tuned for more Vandy logo slander
You can’t fix your bracket, but you can still fi You can’t fix your bracket, but you can still fix your mental health.

By Jack Hollier
Very Important! Please read By Damian Ho Very Important! Please read

By Damian Ho
Wow! This is so inspiring! Wow! This is so inspiring!
It’s not his fault that fossil fuels are much mo It’s not his fault that fossil fuels are much more profitable than universities

By Sam Sliman
EVERYTHING IS FINE. THERE IS NO REASON TO BE CONCE EVERYTHING IS FINE. THERE IS NO REASON TO BE CONCERNED.
Victim of financial aid collusion? You may be enti Victim of financial aid collusion? You may be entitled to one free meal swipe

By Sam Sliman
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