Campus

As part of a new initiative for the 2018-2019 school year, Vanderbilt Dining rolled out new meat alternatives (*insert heavy vegan breathing*) in all of its eateries campus-wide. The Blended Burger and the Impossible Burger serve as the poster sandwiches for this initiative, the Hall & Oates of the culinary...

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  • November 2, 2018

This past week, Vanderbilt Administration revealed the design for the new dormitory building on campus – a giant middle finger pointed at Carmichael Towers. “We wanted to preserve the tradition of Vanderbilt completely shitting on Towers in any way possible,” said the project’s chief architect. “We feel that the middle...

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  • October 14, 2018

NASHVILLE, TN: Most freshmen at Vanderbilt are socially well-adjusted individuals who would never even think of eating a meal alone. Not so for Trevor Browne. Slant sources confirmed that this total fucking loser was seen eating lunch alone at the Commons Center dining hall today. Browne reportedly sat down at...

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  • October 10, 2018