Ever since he filled the pool in his fourth house’s backyard with crude oil because he “liked the way it feels on [his] tummy,” Chancellor Diermeier has been in deep shit regarding sustainability. Things got especially heated for the self-proclaimed German Germ when he refused to apologize for the incident....
Campus
Gully Hender, a known masochist Commodore majoring in neuroscience on a premed track, had been up studying for three consecutives nights in preparation for his biochemistry exam. In order to stay focused, he drank a total of nine Bang Energys and took 100 milligrams of unprescribed Adderall. With shaking hands,...