The recent release of the USNews university rankings might have some Vandy peeps upset over our dearth of #1 titles. However, let’s not forget all of the amazing things in which Vandy continually comes out on top! Lowest squirrel to sexual assault warning email ratio Vandy is quick to boast the 3:1 squirrel to student ratio, but we think it’s time we give this … [Read more...] about Vanderbilt Announces Number 1 Rankings in Five Exciting New Categories
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The Early Signs of Fall, That Suzie’s Hummus and Veggie Wrap Someone Dropped on the Ground and Other Sad Things I Saw This Week
Happy October! The first few days of this fun, funky, flirty, fresh month can signify the start of many things for the average Vanderbilt student—the blooming of colors of the campus trees, pumpkin-spiced everything, the repeated use of yesterday’s hoodie, the opening of the floodgates of the Dance Marathon promotional Instagram stories (or, Dance pyramid scheme, if you … [Read more...] about The Early Signs of Fall, That Suzie’s Hummus and Veggie Wrap Someone Dropped on the Ground and Other Sad Things I Saw This Week
Study Finds People Who Say “Vandy Dining Hates Us” Didn’t Have a Good Relationship with their Dad
In a ground-breaking study from the VU Department of Zeppos Father Figures Studies, researchers have discovered a nearly perfect 1:1 correlation between people who think Vandy Dining is personally victimizing them and people whose dads were stingy with their love. This research sent shockwaves through much of the Vanderbilt student body and resulted in many phone calls to … [Read more...] about Study Finds People Who Say “Vandy Dining Hates Us” Didn’t Have a Good Relationship with their Dad
VUceptor Hospitalized Upon Being Reduced to a vuGuest
Throughout our complicated, messy, but valid little lives, we have all had understandable reasons for seeking medical attention. For those of you who were totally popular in high school, it’s getting your stomachs pumped after a legendary night of drinking. For the remaining serfs, its something dumb like kidney stones or scabies. Yet, in the early hours of Saturday … [Read more...] about VUceptor Hospitalized Upon Being Reduced to a vuGuest
In Attempts to Reduce Number of COVID Cases, Vanderbilt Eliminates Students
BREAKING: Vanderbilt officials have just reported their administration’s bold new step in reducing the reported number of COVID cases. In what many would call a drastic change, Vanderbilt is planning to eliminate the student body. “98% of the rise in COVID cases in recent months has been attributed to the undergraduate students. The logical next step in lessening the … [Read more...] about In Attempts to Reduce Number of COVID Cases, Vanderbilt Eliminates Students