By Chris Loveland The Students of SOC-2100 were all dumbfounded by what one student—Josh Ott—said during a heated class discussion today. Ott, typically known for “piggybacking” off of other student’s comments, constantly taking an “economical” approach to every topic, and really bringing absolutely nothing to the table, left class today in hot water. One student who … [Read more...] about Uh Oh, That White Guy Just Said, “To Play Devil’s Advocate…” What The Fuck Is He Going To Say Next?
By John Dough Junior whom I met at the tailgateI thought thy bore resemblance to an angelic being Standing benevolently in an ocean of inebriated socialites And sorority girls who claim they never had a “hoe phase” in high school Thine infinite, empyrean beautyDoth truly make me feel flustered, enamored, and completeBut it wasn’t until you cranked that soulja boy … [Read more...] about Junior Whom I Met at the Tailgate, Shall I Compare Thee to a Mid-Semester’s White Claw?
By Mikayla Hernandez-Guevara An unnamed Lupton 3 resident has recently tested positive for the Black Plague, campus officials released in a shocking statement on Monday. The student in question is currently admitted in VUMC, undergoing rigorous bloodletting treatments and daily urine baths. No word has been released as to the effectiveness of the treatments, but anyone … [Read more...] about Branscomb Resident Tests Positive for Bubonic Plague
By Anonymous “So next, you’ll get a chance to read through the charges and you can decide if you agree or disagree with them.” The Assistant Director of the Office of Student Accountability sat across from me, slowly turning the computer screen so I could see. Two charges blazed before my eyes. One … [Read more...] about “For Fuck’s Sake, Just Lie” says Office of Student Accountability
By: Kyle Kowalski Homecoming weekend finally happened, the spontaneous two day shit-show that every Vanderbilt student looks forward to as the TIME to get laid. Winter jackets, chapped lips (or herpes), and that weird freshman who claims his legs don’t get cold—they’re all in full swing. Vanderbilt homecoming is a tradition which has run for decades, but my dad has been … [Read more...] about Homecoming Weekend: Nostalgia and Neglect