To say I’m confused would be an understatement. It was a simple Sunday morning. We went to Waffle House (an odd choice for her), enjoyed a nice cup of tea and attended morning mass. I should have noticed something was off. Instead of accepting wine from the chalice, Meemaw pulled out a wine bag and ripped it while the priest slapped it and yelled “Emergency!” To make things … [Read more...] about Help! My Grandma Said She Was Leaving to Go Buy Biscotti, but Now She’s in Panama City Beach?
Former Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos has announced his retirement from the billion-dollar tech company. To the dismay of many Robinhood users, Amazon’s stock did not fluctuate by more than five percent, causing many call options to expire and leaving traders with an empty 401K. Bezos’ retirement comes as a shock to many. With a successful year of stomping out that local elderly … [Read more...] about Jeff Bezos to Step Down in Order to Pursue New Role as Boiled Egg
$5 margaritas, Big Bass Pro lottery wheels and enough fiat money to make our American dollar feel obsolete. In essence, Dave & Buster’s is a late-stage capitalist’s paradise. Maybe my strange obsession with game plazas started with my continual exposure to Chuck E. Cheese and its trademark E. coli. The vicious battle between inhaling $20 subpar pizza and my lactose … [Read more...] about Why I’m Getting Married at Dave & Buster’s
So, recently, if you accepted another desperate request from the @lotlvanderbilt Instagram account, you noticed that Loud Luxury will be making a virtual performance for Lights on the Lawn. For my fellow upperclassmen and 5th years, you might remember last year’s performer: Quinn XCII, the human embodiment of a Kia Soul. But with no 2020 Rites of Spring and Bobby Shmurda’s … [Read more...] about My Top Five Replacement Headliners for Lights on the Lawn
Recently, NASA made the tremendous discovery of water on the moon. Now, this has a lot of implications for science as a whole. Once forgotten dreams of moon popsicles and hot tubs have now become a reality in our intergalactic journey. Many companies are now trying to make their foray into this abundant new resource. Nestle has already militarized their lawyers to have complete … [Read more...] about Water Discovered on the Moon, Seaworld Announces New Initiative: “Abusing Animals but in Space”