COMMONS BRIDGE -- Manifesting, a tried and tested science, once again has failed the speedier students of Vanderbilt University. Hot off the success of the Gillette students imagining better water pressure in their showers moments before disaster and getting more than they asked for, other Vandy students have come face to face with the failures that come from mentally targeting … [Read more...] about Report: Efforts at Vividly Imagining Cunt Punching Slow Walkers No Closer to Making Them Actually Speed Up
As the school year draws to a close, many of you will be too consumed with your "summer internships" to keep up with our excellent reporting. That’s no big deal—here are a few of our (highly accurate) predictions about what’s going to happen this summer in the world of celebrity gossip. AkPsi Alum goes down for insider trading The sky is blue, isn’t it? I feel like … [Read more...] about The Slant’s Summer 2021 Celebrity Predictions
It’s really in moments like this that I remember how lucky I am to be a woman. Being a woman can be quite frightening at times, but I often think that opinions like that really just attack men. You agree, right? I find that the wonders of womanhood grant me quite a few opportunities that poor, oppressed men just don’t get. For instance, just this evening, I was invited to go … [Read more...] about Commentary: Where is this White Van Taking Me?