By: Julia Schmitt Taylor Swift released her long-awaited Red (Taylor’s Version) album two months ago, capitalizing on unresolved preadolescent trauma most listeners did not have in the first place. As gaggles of post quarantine and WAP twenty-somethings reconnect with the absolute worst versions of themselves, Vanderbilt senior Jeremy has landed...
Julia Schmitt
By: Julia Schmitt Your grandmother, my grandmother and America’s Matt Gaetz agree: you were a hot piece of ass in seventh grade! Thigh gap? Braless? Grossly asleep in a world waterboarded in serpentine patriarchal injustice? Bummer, seems like you really let yourself go by letting your body develop with age. ...
Throughout our complicated, messy, but valid little lives, we have all had understandable reasons for seeking medical attention. For those of you who were totally popular in high school, it’s getting your stomachs pumped after a legendary night of drinking. For the remaining serfs, its something dumb like kidney stones...
By Julia Schmitt As my honor code signature eerily lingers on campus—along with the Listerine cap freshman me shamelessly took shots from—I feel compelled to honesty. I want to fucking drop kick my cat. He shall remain nameless because I am an ~intentional woman who lights up every room I...
By Julia Schmitt Whether you believe 2021 is the end of the world or not (though it would be the most precedented outcome of these unprecedented times), the recent winds of advocacy, self-reflection and social action have been objectively refreshing and hopeful. The question remains: how did we get here?...