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The Slant

Vanderbilt's Satirical Newspaper - Est. 1886

HUMOR AND SATIRE

Ben Dohohoe: Editor

Report: Woman to Clean Up After Man’s Mess

February 5, 2020 by Ben Dohohoe: Editor

NASHVILLE, TN: Sources close to the Vanderbilt University administration confirmed today that a woman would indeed be asked to clean up a man’s mess. “Given our concerns with how things were running, we thought it best to have a woman fulfill the traditional role of straightening out the clutter left behind by a man,” said a spokesman. “We anticipate that the woman will do her … [Read more...] about Report: Woman to Clean Up After Man’s Mess

Let’s Face it, Blakemore Residents Shouldn’t Get to Vote

March 19, 2019 by Ben Dohohoe: Editor

Folks, it’s time someone around here just said what’s on all of our minds. With our futures in the hands of the Vanderbilt Student Government electorate in the coming days, I write to you urgently in a time of life-and-death. I don’t care if you’re Reaching Higher with Nico and Taylor, Let’s Going with Frances and Veer or Making Vanderbilt A Clothing-Optional Campus with … [Read more...] about Let’s Face it, Blakemore Residents Shouldn’t Get to Vote

Diversity Wins! This Sorority Cut a PNM Because She was Fat, Not Because She was Black

January 27, 2019 by Ben Dohohoe: Editor

Nashville, TN—The Greek Life system at Vanderbilt has long been maligned for its lack of diversity, with the vast majority of members being non-Hispanic white students. However, the Greek Inclusivity Alliance has been in full force fighting against discrimination, and it appears they’ve scored a big win—a Potential New Member just found out she was cut because she was fat, not … [Read more...] about Diversity Wins! This Sorority Cut a PNM Because She was Fat, Not Because She was Black

We’re Only Three Emotional Breakdowns Away from Thanksgiving

November 13, 2018 by Ben Dohohoe: Editor Leave a Comment

Friends, with Spooky Season coming to an end and No-Shave November starting off, I can already see the leaves falling, smell the turkey cooking and hear my grandfather screaming at my lesbian aunt about how her flannels are destroying America or whatever. That’s right—as I remind myself about five times a day, Thanksgiving is right around the corner, and that means I only have … [Read more...] about We’re Only Three Emotional Breakdowns Away from Thanksgiving

Biden, Vanderbilt Cut Deal to have Clarence Thomas speak at Vanderbilt

October 30, 2018 by Ben Dohohoe: Editor Leave a Comment

NASHVILLE, TN—In an unprecedented political move last evening, Joe Biden and Chancellor Nicholas Zeppos of Vanderbilt University announced that they had reached an agreement to allow Clarence Thomas to respond to Anita Hill’s address on Sunday. Though Biden and Vanderbilt originally planned to allow Hill to speak for a brief period of time, followed by intense questioning from … [Read more...] about Biden, Vanderbilt Cut Deal to have Clarence Thomas speak at Vanderbilt

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