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The Slant

Vanderbilt's Satirical Newspaper - Est. 1886

HUMOR AND SATIRE

Andrew Gerber

A Guide to Dropping Classes

September 3, 2019 by Andrew Gerber

As the semester begins, and add/drop quickly comes to an end, you may be wondering, “How can I do the least amount of work and still find time to cheat effectively this semester?” Well, you are in luck. Although school can suck a lot, the right classes (or lack thereof) can make college a great time. The following is a step by step guide to which classes have to go by September … [Read more...] about A Guide to Dropping Classes

Frats as Countries

March 22, 2019 by Andrew Gerber

Delt - Canada. They’re just too niceZBT - Israel. Obviously because of the JewsSig Nu - America. It’s got such a big military presence AEPi - Palestine. Some people say it exists; some people say it doesn’tFIJI - Cuba. It sounds fun, but ending up there kind of sucksPike - Scotland. Weird place, but the occasional fun partySAE - United Arab Emirates. They’re very rich … [Read more...] about Frats as Countries

New Class Teaches You It’s OK to be Different as Long as You Agree with Us

January 15, 2019 by Andrew Gerber

Are you a culturally sensitive liberal who longs for more similar-minded students to agree with?  Are you that kind of person who really wants to hear what you already believe over and over again? Are you white and feel a bit guilty?   Coming to Vanderbilt this spring, “Being Liberal and Also a Dick” (PSCI 2032) - a discussion-based class specifically tailored to … [Read more...] about New Class Teaches You It’s OK to be Different as Long as You Agree with Us

10 Facts About Vanderbilt that the Tour Guides Don’t Want You to Know

November 16, 2018 by Andrew Gerber Leave a Comment

1. There’s a guy inside of Mr. C. It’s true! Inside our beloved mascot is just a dude who controls the body.  Presumably he’s a student or someone else affiliated with Vandy. Maybe he’s just some random guy. Who knows?  2. We don’t actually have that many squirrels; it’s just three or four of them that are really fast. I thought we had hundreds, but it’s all a facade. … [Read more...] about 10 Facts About Vanderbilt that the Tour Guides Don’t Want You to Know

“I can’t wait to get a bid so I can go back to being my regular shitty self”

October 25, 2018 by Andrew Gerber Leave a Comment

God, I can’t wait to get into one of these frats so I can be myself again.  This whole rush thing is so fucking superficial. I spend every rush event being fake nice to strangers and I can’t figure out if it’ll even be worth it.  I just want to be an asshole again. Is that seriously too much to ask? Every time I go to Greek Row, it’s this whole ordeal.  I have to smile and … [Read more...] about “I can’t wait to get a bid so I can go back to being my regular shitty self”

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