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The Slant

Vanderbilt's Satirical Newspaper - Est. 1886

HUMOR AND SATIRE

Archives for May 2021

Girlboss, Gatekeep, Gaslight: Inside the United States Border Policy

May 5, 2021 by Slant Staff

In yet another incredible week for girlbosses everywhere, Kamala Harris continues to make strides for women’s rights after being appointed President Joe Biden’s point woman for the border crisis and creating the policy of Girlboss, Gatekeep, Gaslight. The Biden administration has been lauded for its attempts at unity. According to insiders, “We noticed how much people hated … [Read more...] about Girlboss, Gatekeep, Gaslight: Inside the United States Border Policy

The Best (and Worst) Disney Channel Original Movies to Play During Your First Belmont Tinder Hookup

May 5, 2021 by Slant Staff

Hookup culture, you hate to see it and yet you love to partake in it. Meeting someone organically is an immediate no, and meeting someone from Vandy is high risk with no reward. And thus the universe created Belmont men who exist solely in the Tinder realm. So without further adieu, I present to you a list of Disney Channel Original Movies that will be sure to have you hitting … [Read more...] about The Best (and Worst) Disney Channel Original Movies to Play During Your First Belmont Tinder Hookup

Help! My Grandma Said She Was Leaving to Go Buy Biscotti, but Now She’s in Panama City Beach?

May 4, 2021 by Kyle Kowalski: Content Editor

To say I’m confused would be an understatement. It was a simple Sunday morning. We went to Waffle House (an odd choice for her), enjoyed a nice cup of tea and attended morning mass. I should have noticed something was off. Instead of accepting wine from the chalice, Meemaw pulled out a wine bag and ripped it while the priest slapped it and yelled “Emergency!” To make things … [Read more...] about Help! My Grandma Said She Was Leaving to Go Buy Biscotti, but Now She’s in Panama City Beach?

When the Immersion Vanderbilt Mob Came for Me

May 4, 2021 by Slant Staff

By Hewlett Packin My name is Hewlett Packin and I’m a sophomore at Vanderbilt University majoring in Economics and Human and Organizational Development. Throughout my life, I’ve always felt like an outsider. My family is white and pretty much middle-income, from The Hamptons, New York. Because my parents valued my education, they enrolled me at the local private high … [Read more...] about When the Immersion Vanderbilt Mob Came for Me

MAIN CHARACTERS, THIS IS YOUR SIGN: Finish the Semester With All Eyes on You!

May 4, 2021 by Slant Staff

By Cameron Peloso Like any healthy adult, I spent most of my childhood years watching TV shows that were way too mature for me. “Gossip Girl,” “90210,” “Degrassi:” the classics. I haven’t just convinced myself I’m the main character, I know I am. And as the main character, it is my humble right to live my teenage years to their fullest. House parties with Ke$ha’s “Tik Tok'' … [Read more...] about MAIN CHARACTERS, THIS IS YOUR SIGN: Finish the Semester With All Eyes on You!

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A time honored Vanderbilt tradition By Estelle Sh A time honored Vanderbilt tradition

By Estelle Shaya
Drop your best 2026 admissions stats in the commen Drop your best 2026 admissions stats in the comments
@quinnxcii We’ll back off in exchange for three @quinnxcii We’ll back off in exchange for three (3) VIP Coachella tickets
Apparently next Oscars will feature Guillermo Del Apparently next Oscars will feature Guillermo Del Toro and Timothee Chalamet wrestling in a kiddie pool full of Jello

By Sam Sliman
Stay tuned for more Vandy logo slander Stay tuned for more Vandy logo slander
You can’t fix your bracket, but you can still fi You can’t fix your bracket, but you can still fix your mental health.

By Jack Hollier
Very Important! Please read By Damian Ho Very Important! Please read

By Damian Ho
Wow! This is so inspiring! Wow! This is so inspiring!
It’s not his fault that fossil fuels are much mo It’s not his fault that fossil fuels are much more profitable than universities

By Sam Sliman
EVERYTHING IS FINE. THERE IS NO REASON TO BE CONCE EVERYTHING IS FINE. THERE IS NO REASON TO BE CONCERNED.
Victim of financial aid collusion? You may be enti Victim of financial aid collusion? You may be entitled to one free meal swipe

By Sam Sliman
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