August 1886: The Slant, Vanderbilt University's humor and satire publication, was founded by an elite group of students who aimed to bring laughter and social commentary to the student body a mere 13 years after the University’s founding. Named after Cornelius Vanderbilt’s penis, this new organization recruited the brightest and tightest the campus had to … [Read more...] about A Comprehensive Guide to the Slant vs. Hustler Beef from a Very Unbiased Source
Archives for March 2021
The Slant’s New Matchmaking Service: Yeah Ok Sure I Guess
You’ve heard of the shitshow that was Datamatch and Marriage Pact. You’re sick and tired of traditional dating apps and want a real chance at love, based on algorithms, science and logic. The Slant has you covered. Welcome to: Yeah Ok Sure I Guess. Read on to get a taste of the last few questions you’ll ever have to ask to find love, written by single people, for single … [Read more...] about The Slant’s New Matchmaking Service: Yeah Ok Sure I Guess
Rating the Statues on Campus by How Fuckable They Are
7/10 Sleek, sexy but a little bit boring. This statue is nothing exciting, but definitely worth the fuck. The hole in the middle makes things pretty easy, but if you’re willing to put in the effort, you can probably do better. 1/10 NO. Do not even think about it. This is by far the least fuckable statue on campus. No matter what you try to do with it, you’re ending … [Read more...] about Rating the Statues on Campus by How Fuckable They Are
A Copy Editors Paredise
Thats right love, you made one snarky comment to many. The “look up the definition of ‘ontological’ before you try to use it in an article you dumb idiot” comment on my last Slant piece means war, even if it was a sad nerdy attempt at copy editor humor. No, your the idiot for starting this fight. Copy edit this, bitch. Who; ever; told; you; you; could; delete; my; … [Read more...] about A Copy Editors Paredise
In Honor of Mark Bandas’ Retirement, Here Are Seven Things That Are Raisins
On March 5, Vanderbilt’s most recently announced departure, Provost Susan R. Wente, became the not-so-most recently announced departure. It was announced that Dean of Students Mark Bandas would retire at the end of the academic year. In an email,Wente kindly referred to Bandas as “esteemed Associate Provost” and mentioned his career longevity at Vanderbilt, politely implying … [Read more...] about In Honor of Mark Bandas’ Retirement, Here Are Seven Things That Are Raisins