• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • News
  • Features
  • Life
  • Opinion
  • Rickroll
  • Slant TV
  • Staff
  • About Us
  • Be a Contributor

The Slant

Vanderbilt's Satirical Newspaper - Est. 1886

HUMOR AND SATIRE

Archives for March 2021

A Comprehensive Guide to the Slant vs. Hustler Beef from a Very Unbiased Source

March 30, 2021 by Madison Hitchcock: Recruitment Chair

August 1886:  The Slant, Vanderbilt University's humor and satire publication, was founded by an elite group of students who aimed to bring laughter and social commentary to the student body a mere 13 years after the University’s founding. Named after Cornelius Vanderbilt’s penis, this new organization recruited the brightest and tightest the campus had to … [Read more...] about A Comprehensive Guide to the Slant vs. Hustler Beef from a Very Unbiased Source

The Slant’s New Matchmaking Service: Yeah Ok Sure I Guess

March 30, 2021 by Justine Del Monte

You’ve heard of the shitshow that was Datamatch and Marriage Pact. You’re sick and tired of traditional dating apps and want a real chance at love, based on algorithms, science and logic. The Slant has you covered. Welcome to: Yeah Ok Sure I Guess. Read on to get a taste of the last few questions you’ll ever have to ask to find love, written by single people, for single … [Read more...] about The Slant’s New Matchmaking Service: Yeah Ok Sure I Guess

Rating the Statues on Campus by How Fuckable They Are

March 30, 2021 by Slant Staff

7/10 Sleek, sexy but a little bit boring. This statue is nothing exciting, but definitely worth the fuck. The hole in the middle makes things pretty easy, but if you’re willing to put in the effort, you can probably do better. 1/10 NO. Do not even think about it. This is by far the least fuckable statue on campus. No matter what you try to do with it, you’re ending … [Read more...] about Rating the Statues on Campus by How Fuckable They Are

A Copy Editors Paredise

March 30, 2021 by Estelle Shaya: Editor-in-Chief

Thats right love, you made one snarky comment to many. The “look up the definition of ‘ontological’ before you try to use it in an article you dumb idiot” comment on my last Slant piece means war, even if it was a sad nerdy attempt at copy editor humor. No, your the idiot for starting this fight. Copy edit this, bitch. Who; ever; told; you; you; could; delete; my; … [Read more...] about A Copy Editors Paredise

In Honor of Mark Bandas’ Retirement, Here Are Seven Things That Are Raisins

March 30, 2021 by Keiji Chan

On March 5, Vanderbilt’s most recently announced departure, Provost Susan R. Wente, became the not-so-most recently announced departure. It was announced that Dean of Students Mark Bandas would retire at the end of the academic year. In an email,Wente kindly referred to Bandas as “esteemed Associate Provost” and mentioned his career longevity at Vanderbilt, politely implying … [Read more...] about In Honor of Mark Bandas’ Retirement, Here Are Seven Things That Are Raisins

Next Page »

Primary Sidebar

Recent Posts

  • I Thought Only My Cat Would Forget About Me While I Was Away at College, but It Turns Out My Parents Did Too
  • Sad but Hot is the New Hot: How to Look Perfectly Beautiful While Deteriorating Emotionally
  • The Anti-Social Socialite’s Guide to Forming Friendships with Coworkers
  • Diermeier Dormitories to Replace Branscomb Quad in Fall 2022
  • Separating the Art from the Artist: Why It’s Ok to Keep Hooking Up with That Guy Who Is an Asshole to You

vanderbiltslant

A time honored Vanderbilt tradition By Estelle Sh A time honored Vanderbilt tradition

By Estelle Shaya
Drop your best 2026 admissions stats in the commen Drop your best 2026 admissions stats in the comments
@quinnxcii We’ll back off in exchange for three @quinnxcii We’ll back off in exchange for three (3) VIP Coachella tickets
Apparently next Oscars will feature Guillermo Del Apparently next Oscars will feature Guillermo Del Toro and Timothee Chalamet wrestling in a kiddie pool full of Jello

By Sam Sliman
Stay tuned for more Vandy logo slander Stay tuned for more Vandy logo slander
You can’t fix your bracket, but you can still fi You can’t fix your bracket, but you can still fix your mental health.

By Jack Hollier
Very Important! Please read By Damian Ho Very Important! Please read

By Damian Ho
Wow! This is so inspiring! Wow! This is so inspiring!
It’s not his fault that fossil fuels are much mo It’s not his fault that fossil fuels are much more profitable than universities

By Sam Sliman
EVERYTHING IS FINE. THERE IS NO REASON TO BE CONCE EVERYTHING IS FINE. THERE IS NO REASON TO BE CONCERNED.
Victim of financial aid collusion? You may be enti Victim of financial aid collusion? You may be entitled to one free meal swipe

By Sam Sliman
Load More... Follow on Instagram

Archives

  • June 2022
  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • February 2022
  • January 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • July 2021
  • May 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
March 2021
M T W T F S S
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
293031  
« Feb   Apr »

Follow Us

Facebook Twitter YouTube

Footer

  • Archive
  • Privacy
  • Be a Contributor
  • About Us
  • Contact Us

Meta

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org

Copyright © 2022 · Magazine Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in