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The Slant

Vanderbilt's Satirical Newspaper - Est. 1886

HUMOR AND SATIRE

Archives for January 2021

Vanderbilt University Medical Center Performs World’s First Really, Really Fat Ass Transplant

January 30, 2021 by Slant Staff

By Turd Ferguson Just weeks after performing the world’s first dual heart-lung transplant on a patient with COVID-19, the Vanderbilt University Medical Center continues to break new ground in the surgical field. In a press conference, VUMC announced that it had successfully performed the world’s first really, really fat ass transplant. Although fat ass transplants have been … [Read more...] about Vanderbilt University Medical Center Performs World’s First Really, Really Fat Ass Transplant

Giving Back: Outdoor Voices Encourages a Generation of Upper Class Females to “Do Things”

January 30, 2021 by Julia Schmitt

By Julia Schmitt Whether you believe 2021 is the end of the world or not (though it would be the most precedented outcome of these unprecedented times), the recent winds of advocacy, self-reflection and social action have been objectively refreshing and hopeful. The question remains: how did we get here? What magnanimous driving force could have possibly ignited such a … [Read more...] about Giving Back: Outdoor Voices Encourages a Generation of Upper Class Females to “Do Things”

The Slant’s Guide To Zoom Recruitment

January 30, 2021 by Miles Borowsky

By Miles Borowsky and Julia Schmitt Starting virtual recruitment this weekend? Here are The Slant's top tips to score the house of your dreams! Talk about the latest superspreader event and why it was the best party you’ve been to in weeks!Make sure your Cartier Love Bracelet clatters against your keyboard with each and every keystroke.Visit this website.Have your cute … [Read more...] about The Slant’s Guide To Zoom Recruitment

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