You may have seen Vanderbilt’s detailed, overtly threatening instructions on what to pack and what to leave for the Flip, but they forgot one thing: common courtesy. However, the Slant cares so deeply for the wellbeing of our freshman that we’re providing a list of fun & flirty gifts to leave your virtual roommate to show them you care. While Vanderbilt wants to ship you away, maybe the real ships are the friendships you made along the way.
- A Map of the Best Hiding Spots in the Room. Let your virtual roommate use those precious seconds from the moment your RA knocks on the door to the time they get everyone to quiet down wisely. Some examples include in the ceiling tiles where you found those strangely sticky tissues, under the bed with the gremlins and fingernail clippings, or through a secret exit found by jumping really hard and escaping to the room under yours. Now, instead of looking for places to hide, they can think of their flimsiest excuses as to why there were voices in the room.
- A spritz of your grandma’s perfume. Really help set the ambiance of the room by creating that “this smells familiar but I’m not sure why” vibe. Helps the place feel at home, but slightly unsettling so. Slightly sensual.
- Shards of glass on the floor. This one is for if you don’t like your virtual roommate, or if you want to help them improve their tiptoeing skills. God knows they’ll need it to get around the Towers bathrooms.
- Your Vuceptor. Does anyone want to share their rose, bud, and thorn of leaving your Vuceptor behind?
- A DIY voodoo doll of you. Collect your remnants from the room: nail clippings, hair strands, dead skin, and compile it into materials for a voodoo doll. Develop a secret code for what each sensation means, so you’ll never be too far from one another.
- The dead bird you found last week. This will help them add that flair of mystery to their room. Is it taxidermy? Is it alive, and hung up for sadistic pleasure? Guests will never know, but they will think your virtual roommate is edgier and more multi-dimensional for it.
- A spit tube from the last Covid test. At exit testing, use some sleight-of-hand to grab a Covid test from the bag. Positive or not, guzzling it provides a last-ditch attempt for a day off, or it can just function as a refreshing, low-calorie drink. Something about that lubricated consistency mixed with the fear and confusion of the source is really energizing.