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The Slant

Vanderbilt's Satirical Newspaper - Est. 1886

HUMOR AND SATIRE

Archives for November 2020

Op-Ed: We Don’t Need More Thanksgiving Music. We Already Have the Perfect Thanksgiving Anthem

November 25, 2020 by Taylor Lomax

Year after year, the public bemoans a “lack” of music to celebrate the “Thanksgiving season,” whatever that means. Where Christmas has a wealth of music from Mariah Carey and other lesser artists, and Halloween has such seminal classics as “The Monster Mash” and China Anne McClain’s “Calling All the Monsters,” the general public doesn’t recognize a similar canon for everyone’s … [Read more...] about Op-Ed: We Don’t Need More Thanksgiving Music. We Already Have the Perfect Thanksgiving Anthem

Op Ed: Let’s Collectively Agree to Reset our Virginities Every Month

November 24, 2020 by Slant Staff

By Stella Virgin Let’s get something straight. I think it’s pretty fucking unfair that society has decided to only give us one virginity. I mean, really, one? The vast majority of the 18+ population could definitely use a set-in-stone virginity reset day to replenish our mental and emotional well-being. After all, who doesn’t want to free themselves from those ever-so-common … [Read more...] about Op Ed: Let’s Collectively Agree to Reset our Virginities Every Month

Nine Festive Fall Ways to Make Ben Shapiro’s Life In Nashville a Living Hell

November 18, 2020 by Taylor Lomax

You’re going about your day. You’re walking through campus, admiring the gorgeous fall leaves. Maybe you take a picture and upload it to your Instagram story. It’s fall y’all! And you’re happy. Until you remember that twerpy-man-child-with-the-doctor-wife Ben Shapiro announced he’s moving to Nashville and bringing his whole Daily Wire crew with him. He’s probably here by … [Read more...] about Nine Festive Fall Ways to Make Ben Shapiro’s Life In Nashville a Living Hell

Canada Goose is Back: The Slant’s Guide to Handling the Swarm

November 18, 2020 by Keiji Chan

Winter is quickly approaching and Vanderbilt students are reporting an abundance of Canada geese on campus. No, not the fancy, puffy, red patch-bearing jackets, but actual geese. Should I accidentally stumble across a Canada goose strolling down West End, I would surely be less equipped for the situation than if I encountered a wealthy student wearing a Canada Goose jacket, … [Read more...] about Canada Goose is Back: The Slant’s Guide to Handling the Swarm

What To Leave In Your Dorm Room For The Flip

November 18, 2020 by Elaine Li

You may have seen Vanderbilt’s detailed, overtly threatening instructions on what to pack and what to leave for the Flip, but they forgot one thing: common courtesy. However, the Slant cares so deeply for the wellbeing of our freshman that we’re providing a list of fun & flirty gifts to leave your virtual roommate to show them you care. While Vanderbilt wants to ship you … [Read more...] about What To Leave In Your Dorm Room For The Flip

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We can’t argue with that logic. By James Blair We can’t argue with that logic. 

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Some call him the Punxsutawney Phil of the South. Some call him the Punxsutawney Phil of the South. 

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You know we’re right By Justine Del Monte You know we’re right 

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Handsome Ron really seems to know what he’s doin Handsome Ron really seems to know what he’s doing.
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